Month: May 2016

Hannes Froehlich’s Lifeline

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

lifeline—
wind and water
carve …

© Hannes Froehlich (Germany)

I love the pure simplicity and clean wording of the poem. You can draw much meaning from a few words and this haiku accomplishes that.

The poet notices the slow effect of natural erosion with “wind and water / carve” and then adds the ellipsis to let us know that the process continues, indefinitely. Without that ” …” we might not have the feeling of being cast off and left to drift through time. This
device works beautifully. I think a great haiku casts us off at the end to let us drift on, thinking about what it has given us–of what we can keep finding in its additional layers.

But now for the real power: “lifeline—”

We wonder and imagine how our lives connect to this vast force around us: why are we here, and what purpose might we have in some greater plan or structure.

We know that we need water and air (wind) for survival. But what kind of survival could we imagine? What if we think of how “short” we are in time, and how the “lifeline” that crosses the very palm of our hand shows us our finiteness.

It’s as though he’s captured a primal working force of nature in the palm of his hand. In reality, it is in us; in our hand, our wrinkles, our tears and our breath. Our lifelines are short in comparison to the long processes of earth time. But imagine looking into the Grand Canyon, then closing your fingers around it.

Imagine that the connection is there. It is there as surely as the water and stone and flesh of this fine haiku.

Let yourself into this one slowly for there is much else conveyed. Let it “carve” like the “wind and water.”

Thank you Hannes for sharing your work.

– Edwin Lomere (USA)

Lucky Triana’s Last Time

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Shahai5 Comments

16_-_1 (1)

Sometimes we need to poke humor at ourselves just to stay sane.
Lucky Triana’s “beauty parlour” tanka does this effectively.
a puss caterpillar
passes by
i can’t remember
the last time i went
to a beauty parlour

words and image
© Lucky Triana (Indonesia)

This tanka captures the need for self-image and a little vanity, but builds it all from a cuddly “puss caterpillar” that the poet sees passing by.

Maybe she forgot that her hair is important or maybe she is evolving into a more beautiful night being. If she looks disheveled like the caterpillar does in its latter stages, then perhaps she is going to need that beauty parlor.

I love the touch of mystery that the venomous puss caterpillar image gives us. But touch is something you want to avoid. Perhaps she is too dangerous to touch, but the hair stylist will have to deal with it and that adds another layer of humor.This tanka might be leaning more to kyoka but for now, I’d say, spruce up and go out clubbing this weekend. Soon the night will be all yours as a moth.

Thanks for sharing with us.

– Edwin Lomere (USA)

Martha Magenta’s Last Goodbye

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Shahai1 Comment

last_goodbye

Words and image by Martha Magenta (UK)

This tanka is packed with emotion and is centered around a stark image.

Last goodbyes are something almost anyone can identify with and the emotions it brings. Sometimes, we never forget these moments, and they linger in our memories each day.

The abruptness of the rain filling the footprints, before the ocean tide could, is poignant. It magnifies the sadness the poet feels and represents a lack of mercy.

But on the other hand , you can see it as a blessing. Looking at the footprints of a loved one who has left can be agonizing and the rain filling the footprints up so quickly show the spontaneous compassion of nature.

So, we have a sad and compassionate view of this tanka, simultaneously.

The language is simple, to the point, and well-paced. It is hard to imagine adding or taking out a word. That is a sign of a strong tanka. Plus, the tanka hits the correct emotional chord and tone that touches readers. If a tanka sounds metallic, it is hard to say that it is a tanka.

The sound of the tanka is important as well. The “o” sound is represented in “our” “goodbye” “on” “how” “your” and “footprints.” This gives the sense of length of yearning–the sense of time being too long. Another thing to note is the alliteration of “footprints filled” which adds emphasis.

The art associated with the tanka (I think it is a photo with painted-over rain) is moody and adds to the atmosphere that the tanka creates.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)