Month: June 2016

Jacob Salzer’s Sound

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku2 Comments

how many
become one
sound of rain

Frogpond 38:3, and VerseWrights 2016

© Jacob Salzer (USA)

Though this haiku has only seven words, there are at least three readings of it.

One is the haiku acting as a question. It can be read as two different questions: “how many become one sound of rain?” or “how many become one? sound of rain.” They have a drastically different meaning, but lead us to introspection and imagination.

Another reading involves metaphor. Jacob is saying, “this is how many becomes one: the sound of rain.”

In these readings, it is important to note that the poet says the sound of rain instead of rain itself. It is the aftereffect of the rain that is the focus. What is the aftereffect of our actions? Do we become one as a humanity through the aftereffect of our actions?

Now let’s turn to the sound. The “o” sound is the most prominent sound in the haiku, imitating, I believe, the song of far-off rain. The “a” sound of “many” and “rain” emphasize these two words, bringing more importance to them.

Though there are many readings of this haiku, I believe by the mood it conveys, it is a sober message of paying attention to the wonder of how many can become one, even though each individual has his or her own trajectory. What we leave behind with our actions can create unity in a fragmented world.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Dave Read’s Night Winds

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

Dave Read gives us a masterful last line, a strong pivot line, and an emotive first line.

night winds
I let her go
to voicemail

Frogpond 39.1

© Dave Read

I am a fan of Dave’s last lines. His haiku usually surprise readers in witty or emotional ways, or both. Last lines are kind of the first “aha” moments in haiku. The second eureka moment comes when you realize how the night winds may be, in a sense, speaking to Dave… and that’s why he lets “her” go to voicemail. I propose that “her” is either a girlfriend or a wife. Don’t want to sound like a psychologist, so I will put it at that.

The second line creates the tension in the haiku, which is essential to writing good haiku, and well, almost anything. Without tension, haiku would be merely a pretty picture. And by tension, I don’t mean exclusively stressful events, but some way for readers to have suspense or to feel a disconnect for a while before they figure it all out.
With the wind and the act of letting go, it seems he is handing her over to the forces of nature. But in the third line, we get a surprise.

“night winds” not only sounds emotive reading it out loud, it is emotive in the images and memories it brings to our minds. It also brings up a seasonal reference. I am feeling it is probably autumn, which would mark the change happening in the author’s relationship with the caller. Night winds carry on without obstruction, and this seems like what the author wanted to do as well.

But more than intellectual thought, the feeling of the author is palpable: the melancholy and introspection. Above all, to me, haiku are about a feeling. And I think Dave deftly got his feeling across.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Tiwago’s Petals

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

new petals
luring honey bees
a spider

© Tiwago (USA)

In this one, we get a good view at the workings of nature.

First the petals’ sweetness attracts honeybees and then for a surprise ending, the poet adds “a spider.”

We are left hanging in the space between the bees, petals, and spider.

We have to then visualize what will happen, but it seems clear to me that the spider is a jumper.

It’s a beautiful image that lets us create another beautiful image.

It is the truth of nature, once again asserting itself and then captured by a poet.

Perhaps the bee will escape. Or if it stings the spider, it too will die.

Thanks Tiwago for sharing a bit of spring drama.

This is where the haiku can be dramatic without drawing too much
attention; it is the minimal use of well-chosen words and placement that I like so much.

– Edwin Lomere (USA)