Haiku Commentary will resume publishing on February 11th. Thank you for reading, and keep on writing haiku!
Month: January 2017
Christina Sng’s Wish
the meows
I wish I understand
winter sun
Failed Haiku, December 2016
© Christina Sng (Singapore)
Though this senryu is cute at first glance (and many more glances) it has something deeper to it.
Cats are often good friends, and the writer wants to know more of the inner world of one of her best friends. Also, cats are often associated with mysticism and otherworldliness. By being able to understand the language of cats, maybe we can have a greater comprehension of what is readily unknown to humans and maybe glimpse divinity, or the magic behind mundane existence.
This is juxtaposed with the sun in winter. Though it burns, it hardly gives warmth, and almost teases us with its appearance. Though the cat meows we cannot understand may appear cute or “warm,” there is the coldness of being left out of their world, and maybe out of a secret dimension to the human experience.
Now let’s get a bit more technical. Though this senryu was published in a senryu journal, some poets might say this poem fits into the haiku genre as well… and they would not be exactly wrong. We got a kigo (seasonal reference) and a juxtaposition, but does it have a haiku aesthetic? What the great poet and teacher Michael Dylan Welch wrote in his essay Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Haiku and Senryu But Were Too Busy Writing to Ask applies to this poem:
“Senryu aims more at the head than the heart, more at the intellect than the soul (and in this sense, many so-called avant-garde gendai haiku may be more akin to senryu than haiku). Where haiku are subtle, senryu are blunt. Where haiku are shaded, senryu are lurid.”
By using “understand,” you can say that the poem aims at the mind rather than the heart; but on the other hand, if the reader focuses on “wish,” you can say the poem leans more to haiku. And to give more emphasis to this, Mr. Welch wrote a comment below this post:
“When the poem says “I wish I understand,” to me the emphasis is on wishing, thus an emotion of longing. Consequently, that points to feeling rather than the intellect, which I think makes the poem lean more towards haiku than senryu. The fact that there’s more to the poem than just a cute veneer also points to it being a haiku rather than a senryu. Nor does the poem have a victim or make fun of anything, which is common with senryu. Definitely a haiku!”
In terms of sound, the letter “w” features strongly, giving an impression of yearning. Also, the letter “s” makes a prominent showing. This sound gives it a more musical reading.
This senryu, or haiku, is at once serious and lighthearted, which supplies it with more dimension. The reader does not know if the poet is serious or playful about what she wrote, but this adds to the white space of the senryu and makes it all that more enjoyable to read.
– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)
Lucia Fontana’s Fog
winter fog
the root of the sky
so invisible
© Lucia Fontana (Italy)
Akitsu Quarterly, winter issue, 2016
What I enjoy most about this haiku is its connection to spirituality, or abstract thinking even though it is not directly stated. “Root of the sky” makes sense intuitively, though we have to think, as a reader, what that is exactly. The reader figuring that out, or searching for the meaning of it provides white space. White space is essential in haiku to supply depth and a larger quantity of interpretations.
White space also provides more chances for resonance. By having the two parts interact—the first line, and the last two lines—resonance is made in this haiku. Though the connection between “fog” and “so invisible” is clear, what is foggy is the meaning of “root” and how the two parts emotionally connect.
For me, when I read this haiku, I feel the writer is reflecting on the invisibility of a divine force or God. The emotional phrasing of this haiku gives me a reason to perceive it that way. If “so” was left out, the reading of the haiku would have been drastically different. Equally, “winter” has a mood of bitterness and suffering, and adds emotional content to the haiku. If it was taken away from the haiku, the reading of it would also change considerably.
But then again, the poet could be pondering the formation of the sky in physical terms, from the beginning of Earth’s existence. We are still not clear, scientifically, how Earth formed life.
In terms of sound, the letter “o” features most prominently: “fog,” “root,” and “so.” Sometimes as haiku writers, we forget how sound can carry or add meaning, like in other styles of poetry. In this haiku, the letter “o” gives a sense of pining for knowledge, in my view.
Also, the last line is five syllables, the same as the second line. Though the last line looks shorter, it carries as much content syllable-wise, and is in a sense, elongated. This gives readers the impression of a weighty line despite being short.
A great combination of resonance, white space, sound, and syllables, this haiku delivers much more than is seen.
– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)
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