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– Nicholas

a moment before sunrise –
ice singing
beneath the swans’ feet

(Winner of the Katikati Haiku Contest, 2010)

© Martin Lucas (1962 – 2014) (UK)

I feel this haiku is so amazing.

a moment before sunrise I think the poet is waiting for the sunrise. Catching the first orange ray from the edge of the sun is so boosting for our spirit.

ice singing I didn’t know ice could sing. In curiosity, listening to a YouTube video about the crackling sounds of ice, I felt so good, the sounds were like songbirds, but no, different… They are like quantum plasma gun-shooting in movies… Zap…! Zap!

beneath the swans’ feet Maybe I could relate this line to love, because swans are a symbol of love. I think the poet is sending messages of love to all readers, and it is a sweet moment having a chance to read this haiku.

– Fei Zhan (Indonesia)

Generally, a sunrise indicates warm feelings, energy, hope, optimism, and life. Ice indicates cold feelings, passivity, and death.

Besides this, there is another aspect contrary to my above comments, which is the hidden beauty and grace of every season, whether it is winter, autumn, spring, or summer. The ice singing indicates that the season is at its peak and there are certain elements of nature that enjoy the cold season because it boosts their energies, creativity, and imagination. It is my personal experience that my creative energy is at its peak in autumn and winter as compared to summer.

A swan symbolizes beauty, love, and grace that is again the manifestation of the beauty of the winter season, especially ice. Another word here makes me curious about this haiku, which is the swan’s webbed feet that helps it with swimming. Here, even the swan cannot disturb the creatures below the ice who are enjoying the season and being protected due to a thick layer of ice before the sunrise.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

This is an amazingly interesting haiku, as it introduces something new to many readers. I have never heard of “ice singing” before. I found video recordings of singing ice on YouTube. Changes in temperature can cause ice on a lake to make “otherworldly” sounds.

I wonder whether there is an allusion to the myth about swans dying when they sing. The comparison is fitting because swans sing quite strangely in a wide range of notes. I can just imagine the ice and the swan singing together as the sun is about to rise. I wonder if the swan is coming in to land on the ice, perhaps skating then walking on the ice, and this stimulates the ice’s singing.

– Martha Magenta (UK)

Although I no longer live where ponds, lakes, or rivers freeze over, I used to live in such a place, and I have relived that experience in this haiku. I picture the speaker of this verse on a cold winter morning just before the sun rises, a moment before it does. It is cold, and is probably early in the winter season, or perhaps late in it. Whatever, the ice is not thick, probably not thick enough to hold the weight of a human, but just thick enough to hold the weight of a swan stepping onto the frozen icy surface, walking across it, and the ice gives a bit, there is a cracking/snapping sound, a singing sound, if you will, as the swan steps away from the shore making its way to the open pool that is not frozen over. Except for the sound of the ice giving under the swan’s weight, there is silence. So nice to have relived this experience in my mind (and without having to suffer the icy cold morning to do so).

– Dana Grover (USA)

In Japanese haiku, ”ice” and “swan” are seasonal references or ”kigo.” So, there are many “swan” haiku in Japan. The kigo of “swan” is understood as a winter migratory bird in Japan. Japanese haijin know “swan” is a metaphor of “love.”
But, not really as a metaphor of “love” in Japanese haiku.

The swan’s graceful beauty and luxuriousness give readers a strong impression. So, I felt it is too much if I would add the metaphor of a luxurious swan to my impression.

The second line “ice singing” attracts the interest of readers. If I interpret this “swan” as a metaphor of love, this haiku will include two strong main subjects of “love” and “ice singing.” I would like to read this work simply as haiku. This haiku is really beautiful and a quiet sight.

– Norie Umeda (Japan)

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Learn more about Martin Lucas: https://livinghaikuanthology.com/index-of-poets/livinglegacies/5387-lucas,-martin.html

wintry night
only the echo
from the hospice

© Agus Maulana Sunjaya (Indonesia)

The first line gives us a cold, fearsome situation while waiting for something probably outside our comfort zone. Who could stand the winter temperature without doing anything?

“Only the echo”… this is a gruesome feeling. Of course I don’t want some echoing whispers attacking my ears or mind while there is a wintry night.

In reference to the last line, I know the cause of his or her fear… I hope his or her spirit will be at peace.

– Fei Zhan (Indonesia)

The poet is from Indonesia, and I do not know about Indonesian winters. It may not be in winter, so the poet used “wintry.” But, I can feel it’s a chilly night from the second and third line.

– Norie Umeda (Japan)

This haiku is very chilly. The first line sets the scene, tone and atmosphere: cold, dark, and quiet. The last two lines indicate a lingering memory or reminiscence of the hospice—perhaps the emptiness felt by the loss of a loved one is reflected in this cold, dark winter night. I feel it effectively conveys a sense of loneliness and loss.

The repetition of ‘o’ sounds reinforce the idea of a haunting echo.

– Martha Magenta (UK)

Line 1: “wintry night”
Makes me feel cold and lonely. I become nervous—it’s ominous and scary.
Line 2: “only the echo”
Brings a feeling of silence, you’re alone with only the beating of your heart for company.
Line 3: “from the hospice”
So, we know we wait for our loved one. Will they wake and say goodbye or pass silently away? This one night is your last time with them.

– Marilyn Ward (UK)

The overall theme of this haiku revolves around loss, death, and grief because of the three words “night,” “echo,” and “hospice.” Besides the loss of someone that takes the writer in a state of mourning, I see another aspect of delusions and hallucinations. Usually, traumatic experiences in life resonate at the later part of life where a person may experience certain mental health issues, so maybe the writer is passing through the time where he can hear sounds from the past, maybe certain flashbacks that haunt him more in this wintry night that is mostly silent.

Another aspect may be related to hospice life where people usually get detached from the rest of the world and/or normality, so their voices usually bounce back because of not having active listeners around.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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