October morning—
falling one by one
my illusions

© Thaís Fernandes (Brazil)

This haiku reflects enriched experiences that are embedded in an October morning. October is a time of transition where summer almost surrenders to the colours of autumn. This is also the transitional period of our thoughts, feelings, and mood that are blended well with autumn shades. In turn, falling illusions is a process of getting into meditative thoughts that reveal the far side of realities. It also lets us jump into the autumn hush that brings forth deep, real meanings of life, and the person starts reflecting on his/her thoughts and filters them through the sieve of mindfulness. Mentioning the sound, the letter ‘o’ may allude to the recycling process of our thoughts and feelings early in the morning that redefines our current state of mind.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

In the first line, we get grounded in the scene. In Brazil, where the poet resides, October is an interesting month. According to holiday-weather.com, “October is considered to be a month of transition—a month that is characterised by increasing temperatures and rainfall levels, as the weather moves from the mild winter season toward the hot, humid and wet summer season.” In this sense, with this inference to a transformation, the juxtaposition with the next two lines works well. As the weather heats up and the rain starts to fall, the poet perceives that her illusions are also “falling.” She perhaps saw her inner state reflected in the nature that surrounded her. This brings a sense of oneness, that perhaps humanity and the natural world are one organism.

Getting more technical, I like the use of the em dash. It presents the idea that the poet has now begun afresh, without her illusions. An ellipsis could have worked as well. In terms of the structure, the format is standard, but the syntax is reversed in lines 2 and 3. However, I think “my illusions/falling one by one” or “my illusions falling/one by one” would not have had as much impact on the reader. Though Hifsa has already mentioned the sense of sound, I would add that with the “o”s and “l”s, this haiku sings.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

This haiku, although kigoless, does refer to a specific time. Even so, one might consider it a modern haiku. Then again, even if it did contain a kigo word eg. ‘autumn morning’ that does not necessarily make it a haiku either in a traditional sense (observation through nature.)

I do like this ku and its use of the em dash on line one, which gives the reader a sense of urgency or surprise, where I picture the poet finally seeing things as they truly are perhaps while meditating or under the use or entheogens, being half asleep, half awake, or what usually happens with children where one simply wakes up and see the world as it is for the first time.

There also seems to be an element of zoka in this write, which is:

‘The poet’s real enlightenment is his or her ability to open up to it, tap into it, and translate the zoka at hand into haiku. The poet recognizes what’s going on before his eyes and begins the journey of placing it into a haiku that relays what the poet has been vitalized with.’

Excerpt from Don Baird’s essay “Zoka”

https://www.underthebasho.com/essays/1714-zoka.html

– Fractled (USA)

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© Totonho

zenith
a cloud in a cloud
rolls around

© Pere Risteski (Republic of Macedonia)

The repetition of ‘o’ in line 2 and line 3 makes this haiku a visual delight. There is a sense of being laid-back in this which makes the reading experience very serene. Though there is no mention of the season or time of day, I am imagining a quiet, blissful summer dusk. A lovely haiku, all in all.

– Pragya Vishnoi (India)

The zenith—the nadir celestial axis is the vertical axis according to which one aligns oneself in the posture of zazen. So, the immediate image that this haiku suggests to me is a moment of meditation under a clear sky in which two clouds seem to follow a circular motion. Clouds attract interest and create a point of distraction, and can be compared to thoughts that entangle and return to disturb the serenity of the moment. But I feel deeper resonance in this haiku that appears to me almost like a koan. Maybe I followed the wrong key of reading, but I find it a remarkable haiku—simple and yet well-refined in form.

– Margherita Petriccione (Italy)

The word ‘zenith’ makes this haiku interesting and multidimensional as well. The person is meditating under the open sky, which makes his unique experience worth sharing, as he must have found the zenith as a part of his inner peace and he feels as if he is at his zenith for a moment.

Overall, I can see the deepest desires of the person embedded in the meditative thoughts of the day, which could be daydreaming as well. A cloud in a cloud again could reflect the deep meaning of one’s dreams or wishes that are interconnected. But in the case of meditation, a person looks through these clouds for a clear sky. Yet, in this case, the person enjoyed the experience of clouds manifesting his dreams or desires, which brings more clarity to them. He might feel as if he is out of the confusion. It may also reflect him finding the purpose of life by capturing the intuitive moments that brings a person to a state of extreme happiness, which is in a sense recognizing one’s core potential, which can seem like a miracle.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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© Mariusz Szmerdt

childhood home
from a crack crawls
an icy wind

© Antonietta Losito (Italy)

So many horrendous events have taken place as of late, and this poem reflects such a blow to the heart. We are all used to seeing nurseries as a nest, a place of kindness and joy, of serene guidance towards balanced growth. Unfortunately, this is not the case and often a cold wind blows over them.

A haiku expressed with admirable simplicity and detachment, yet strong as an icy gust of wind in the face accentuated by the harsh repetition of the “cra” sound in line two that strikes sensitively after the fluidity of line one.

– Margherita Petriccione (Italy)

It’s a strong haiku. Although there’s a subtle break on line 1 while reading it out loud because of the conjunction “from” followed after it on line 2, I also see this as a great one-liner due to the sound of the vowels “o” and “a” that’s more apparent in that form.

As for the content of the haiku, I picture poverty in very cold weather and a child possibly in a foster home, or even homeless, seeking shelter. It’s a poignant haiku that’s direct, which is not only a sketch of a particular scene as a sensory image, but one that can be felt physically and emotionally as well.

– Fractled (USA)

There is a time in life when we look back into our past and reflect on deep experiences. These experiences leave a great impression on our lives, guide us in the later part of life, and help us to learn from them. Our childhood home is a very special place, where one collects a lot of memories that become a part of the subconscious. Irrespective of the type, childhood memories always remain close to one’s heart.

The author reflects very deeply on her childhood experiences that may sound traumatic but still fresh in her mind. The cracks are maybe those flaws of the past that influenced the life of the person profoundly and triggers unpleasant memories when she visits that place. Icy wind could be showing the sensitivity of childhood experiences that still haunt her mind. Metaphorically, perhaps a childhood home are memories, the crack is guilt conscious, and the icy wind represents broken thoughts.

Overall, I can see the conscious effort of the person to recall and understand the flaws that always take her back to the time when she faced a lot of pain. In terms of sound, the letter ‘c’ in this haiku shows the disturbance and interruption in one’s normal life cycle.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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© Skip Allen