Category: Haiga

Haiku and Haiga by Lanka Siriwardana, Bonnie J Scherer, and Maire Morrissey Cummins

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiga, Haiku1 Comment

grandfather’s trembling feet
searching for the slippers
in this cold night

— Lanka Siriwardana (Sri Lanka)
Honorable Mention, 76th Basho Memorial English Haiku Contest, 2022

Commentary from Jacob D. Salzer:

Like many well-written haiku, there is a balance in this haiku between concrete imagery and mystery. In the first reading of this haiku, we could see “trembling feet” relating to the cold temperature. However, the trembling could also be due to a medical condition and/or old age, in addition to the cold night. The words “searching for the slippers” show a kind of struggle, partly because it’s evening, but the poet’s grandfather also might have dementia or some form of memory loss.

The overall tone of this poem inspires compassion because we get a real glimpse of the grandfather’s life in a cold atmosphere. As a reader, I wonder if the grandfather lives in a home or shelter that isn’t heated well. This haiku also reminds us that a simple task many people take for granted (such as finding their slippers) can be a significant challenge for others. I am reminded of my late grandmother who had dementia. Even walking to the front door and putting on her shoes was a significant task that took quite some time. Indeed, psychologically, there seems to be a slower pace to this haiku, in stark contrast to the busy, daily lives in modern cities. This is a haiku that inspires sensitivity and compassion. 

— Bonnie J Scherer (USA)
Daily Haiga, 9/30/2024 

Commentary from Hifsa Ashraf:

The opening line of this haiku suggests the time of departure—probably afternoon or early evening. Migrating geese move in a flock with a specific formation, making their flight unique. 

‘Swallowed by blue sky’ makes the scene more dramatic and mysterious. It is an unusual time of depature which may be due to unfavourable circumstances i.e. climate change, war, etc. The word ‘swallowed’ indicates a critical or unfavourable situation where the geese disappeared either due to smog or smoke or in a symbolic way. 

The missing article before ‘blue sky’ perhaps points to a regular situation where geese disappear normally. We may be getting less sensitive to what is happening in nature, where birds do not feel secure in blue sky—not having the freedom of enjoying seasonal flights. It also indicates that such beautiful scenes are missing where bird lovers can enjoy bird watching. 

Overall, the vivid imagery of birds is quite sad and stark for those who love nature. 

night ferry
pitching its way
through starlight 

— Maire Morrissey Cummins (Ireland)

Commentary from Nicholas Klacsanzky:

I grew up near a ferry dock, so I can easily relate to this haiku. The lights from night ferries are majestic to witness. In conjunction with “starlight,” it would be truly a spectacle. The casual speed of a ferry also makes this image more beautiful, with the ferry pitching i.e. an up-or-down movement of the bow and stern of the ship. The combination of artificial and natural light, as well as the earth and the cosmos, add to the meaning of the haiku.

Looking at the more technical aspects of this haiku, one can easily say that it follows the tradition of brevity, with only seven words used. Each word is employed well, especially “pitching,” which gives the poem more motion. Also, the “i” sounds perhaps make the starlight imagined more stark, and the “r” sounds provide more weight.

Like many fine haiku, on first read, it seems simple. Yet after looking a bit deeper, we can see layers of resonance and fantastic imagery that connect the human-made world with the cosmos.

Alice Wanderer’s summer refuge

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiga, Shahai1 Comment

Haiku: Alice Wanderer (Australia)
Photography: Di Cousens (Australia)

Commentary

Refugees, seeking a safer place to live, demonstrate the strength and resilience of the human spirit. In this haiku, it is the scent of a refugee (or refugees) that we recognize in their absence. The word “perfume” seems to entail a strong scent that lingers. This haiku could also symbolize humility and frugality. With very few possessions, it seems refugees don’t leave many (if any) material objects behind. This makes me think: on our brief human journey of a lifetime, what are we leaving behind? What do we want to leave behind?

In turn, it seems the presence of a kind and compassionate human being is a gift that stretches far beyond material wealth. In the end, physically, we are all visitors on this Earth. The steps in the photo could be a symbol of human striving or steps in human growth/evolution. I think the long journey of refugees both spiritually and physically can redefine what truly is home. 

— Jacob D. Salzer

First, I would like to say that I enjoy the shading and light in the photograph. Also, the textures in the wall and steps make it an intriguing capture. The font for the haiku is appropriate for the subject matter and matches the atmosphere of the photograph.

The seasonal reference (kigo) is in the first line with “summer refuge.” We can guess that the summers where this haiku takes place are exceptionally hot. It might even be in a desert. The poet and photographer being both from Australia can make readers think it might be in the Australian outback. This photograph could indeed be a summer refuge made by Australian Aboriginals to combat the outback heat. In this context, the last line referencing possible ancestors could gain more meaning.

There is no punctuation in the haiku (kireji), but there is a clear delineation of the two parts of the poem by a grammatical shift from the first and second lines.

How the two parts of the haiku combine and interact (toriawase) is pleasant in its melancholy. With summer being a happy and chill time, in this space of sanctuary, there are the remnants of ancestors. Whether this is a joyous or sad happening is up to the reader. “Perfume” is used interestingly in this haiku, as the poet could have easily written “scent.” “Perfume” is a much more endearing word that could have multiple meanings. But overall, this haiku could have an intermixing of emotions or be about a silent celebration of ancestors still with us.

Looking at how the lines are laid out, the pacing approximates the Japanese traditional rhythm of short/long/short.

The diction is in line with haiku principles of simplicity and brevity. It is also important that the poet left space for the reader to ponder through her choice of words.

In terms of sound, the letter “r” is especially important. With four instances and in every line, “r” gives a hard edge to the haiku that connects to the walls and steps in the photo.

Ultimately, this photo haiku (shahai) expresses inexplicable emotions with grace. Though the image and haiku might be endemic to Australia, it is written in a universal way.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky


Anna Maria Domburg-Sancristoforo’s Lake Twilight

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiga, Haiku1 Comment

aviary-image-1517294710424Photograph by Lorena Campiotti, haiku by Anna Maria Domburg-Sancristoforo
Published in Failed Haiku, issue 28, 2018

I enjoy the mystical sense this haiku brings. With the comparison of twilight at a lake and the chasing of clouds’ silence, the reader looks through their mind’s eye to imagine a meditative experience. The poet is perhaps wanting to leave her ego behind and become one with something more primal and foundational: the silence of nature.

Twilight is a time of being between daylight and darkness—something difficult to grasp or pin down. The “chasing” of the silence that clouds contain, either by the narrator or twilight itself, is another thing of abstractness and obscurity. This is akin to the Japanese aesthetic of yugen, which suggests subtle profundity and is associated with mystery.

The structure of the poem fits the rhythm of traditional haiku well and has a clear cut marker (kireji) in the first line to bring about more complexity and a juxtaposition. The strongest sounds in the haiku are the “l”s and “i”s.  Both supply us with a lilting feeling, which in an abstract sense is like the movement of clouds.

The photograph conjures an epic scene to take in and sets the environment well. It compliments the haiku, as it does not go directly into the “chasing” part. It delivers the scene to us so we can dive more into the mind of the poet.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

The opening line of this haiku takes us to the colourful sky that can be observed at twilight. Mostly, twilight has fading colours i.e. red, purple, yellow, and blue. These fading colours reflect the colours of an aura that we have in the evening, especially at twilight. So, the lake’s twilight complements or blends with the colours of our aura. I can feel the deep silence of the lake at twilight that is due to either the migration of birds or other lake creatures, or due to abandonment. In both cases, the lake reflects the colours of twilight, as well as the mood of the person who was observing it.

Chasing silence may indicate the meditative thoughts that are closely embedded in the silence of the lake and intertwined with the colours of the sky. The narrator may have had profound experiences of seeing clouds, which may also be her ongoing thoughts (maybe chaotic), and she wants to move beyond those thoughts to finally get a peaceful mind.

This haiku beautifully presents the whole image in a subtle way, where we can observe a deep relationship among twilight colours, clouds, silence, and mood. It reveals the mystery of human curiosity to go deeper into one’s thoughts and feel the depth of subtle experiences. Overall, I enjoyed the imagery of this haiku which moved me to vividly experience a lake twilight.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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