Category: Haiku

Maria Chiara Miduri’s Wings

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku1 Comment

a crow feeds
tiny wings
while the bough floats

– Maria Chiara Miduri (Italy)
Wales Haiku Journal, Spring Issue, 2019

Haiku about crows always brings mystery to me. I start relating them to certain deep realities of life. A crow can symbolize intelligence, flexibility, and destiny in certain cultures, whilst bad luck and death in others. For me, a crow is a symbol of wisdom and survival that keeps on knocking on the doors of our mind and heart to awaken and understand the depth of life.

The tiny wings, as I understand, is the beginning of new life that needs energy and enthusiasm to keep going and to face the harsh realities of life.

In terms of the bough that floats on the water, I think it signifies the survival of the fittest in the tidal waves of life, but it is the crow that leads us to overcome our weaknesses and to handle it with strength and wisdom.

This haiku is the combination of nature and nurture where wisdom, realities, and trials are beautifully described with the help of the elements of nature.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

The first thing that struck me about this haiku is that it is written essentially as one part. Haiku often do not work well as one part, but there is a whole history of masterful haiku that do. In Japanese, these type of haiku are called “ichibutsu jitate” (物仕立て).

Because the imagery is so stark, the poem is carried by it and the resonance is strong. The care the mother crow is giving her chicks (“tiny wings”), while the wind or water tosses the bough that they are on, is extraordinary. It is a lesson in focus and concern. It also lends to the image of life’s precariousness and that at any moment, something can go wrong. But in the face of this, the mother crow supplies nourishment to her chicks.

Despite the haiku being one phrase, the line breaks allow readers to take in the image well. Also, the sound of the poem is rich with the letters w and o. I would say the “w” sounds supply a sense of lightness that is inherent in the imagery, whereas the “o” sounds slow down the scene for us and reflects being in awe of the moment that is captured in the haiku.

Overall, with a unique structure, stark imagery, and a fine sense of sound, this haiku conveys showing care through the obstacles of our lives.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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koson-ohara-crow-with-kaki-fruit-japanese-vintage-ukiyo-e-woodblock-painting-prints

– Painting by Koson Ohara

Martha Magenta’s mountain spring

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku2 Comments

mountain spring
the bottomless cup
of my hands

– Martha Magenta (UK)
Stardust Haiku, issue 30, June 2019

This post is a tribute to Martha Magenta, who has recently passed away this year. She was an award-winning poet, an integral member of the haiku community, and a person that mentored many aspiring poets. Please read her collected works on her blog.

The opening line of this brilliant haiku takes us to the refreshing sound of water that is flowing freely. The mountain spring creates mystical feelings of selflessness and focus. The bottomless cup is a bit of a twist in the story where both words are used to take the readers from the mountain spring to the self with empty hands. So, it’s all about giving not gathering, praying not begging, saying not asking.

I could relate this haiku to Sufi practices where cupped hands are supposed to be saying a prayer and connect with the almighty at the level where there is no desire for worldly needs. The subtle feelings of flowing water, mystical conditions, and the self make this haiku more profound with deeply personal experiences of meditation and self-discovery.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

Both the mountain spring and the poet’s hands seem infinite in their capacity. But, one is giving and one is receiving. However, it seems Martha felt the connection between her hands and the mountain spring while quenching her thirst. Maybe she felt that, like the flowing water, her hands could be a conduit for nourishment.

In terms of the season, I feel this is either spring or summer, when drinking from a mountain spring would be most satisfying.

Looking through a technical lens, the lines are paced in the traditional way English-language haiku are written: a short line, a long(ish) line, and then a short line again. No punctuation is given but I think none is needed in this poem. Martha also leaned towards a style of less punctuation.

Sound plays a significant part, as the “o”s, “n”s, “i”s, and “m”s all create a musical reading. In particular, the “n”s supply this haiku with a sense of dignity and eloquence.

This is one of many great haiku by Martha Magenta. I hope this post inspires readers to dive more into her work.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

mountain spring

Carmela Marino’s Closed Eyes

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku2 Comments

closed eyes . . .
a star has fallen
somewhere

– Carmela Marino (Italy)
Published on Haikuniverse

I wish I could see a whole image like this with closed eyes. Closed eyes mean to see the world through the third eye and to feel it deeply. Also, a falling star is a kind of hope and a bond with the universe that anyone can feel anywhere with a specific state of mind.

So, this is connectivity through imagination, meditation, and deep thinking to wish, pray, and ask for what we really want in our lives.

The word ‘somewhere’ depicts the concept of wholeness, where the poet, as a tiny part of this universe, wishes to see that falling star through her third eye. In a way, this is beyond wishes, where someone wants to get connected with celestial bodies by creating a harmonious and deep understanding of this world.

Words like closed, fallen, and somewhere are abstract in this haiku yet leave great room for a deep understanding of this unlimited universe and our unexplored inner world.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I believe this can be taken in at least two ways: a) it notes how each second, something magical or majestic happens in our universe b) when we are not looking, many amazing things happen. In the context of the second option, the poet might have missed a chance to make a wish upon a shooting star. However, the poet realized that stars could be falling at any moment throughout the universe and that one can make a sacred wish at any time.

Sonically, the most prominent sound comes from the string of “s.” One can imagine the hissing sound of a falling star by the reading of this haiku. Also, the “l”s work to make this poem more musical and pleasing.

I enjoy the use of the ellipsis to show how long the poet or the narrator closed their eyes. It also gives the reader time to let this action sink in.

This is a haiku that is at once imaginative and realistic.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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IMG_9856

Painting by Rick Beerhorst

Hemapriya Chellappan’s Monsoon Yoga

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku, Senryu9 Comments

monsoon yoga
here and there
a housefly

Hemapriya Chellappan (India)
Failed Haiku, journal of senryu, issue 45, Sept 2019

I’ve been in India during the monsoon season, and I can say how exciting and intense it is to see the rain crash down on the streets. All the commotion is compared to a housefly buzzing around here and there. Something epic and something small in aesthetic unison. Also, it contrasts the calmness of doing yoga. So, you can say we got a strong juxtaposition in this senryu/haiku–and a touch of humor.

Technically, it’s easy to spot the string of “o”s in the poem. It stretches the pace of the reading, slowing us down like yoga. Plus, we got some “r”s and “h”s to make it more musical. In terms of the structure and wording, it’s an efficient senryu/haiku–not wasting a word.

Great imagery, a fine juxtaposition, and a keen sense of sound make this poem an enjoyable read.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky  (USA)

The monsoon season is a time of yearning and transformation where many views outside and inside get refreshed and soil absorbs a lot of stories of the mourning sky. The sound of rain, petrichor, and new views bring original perspectives to life–and if we shift our focus from our world to the inner world, as in yoga and meditation, we find it very soothing, as there is a direct and deep connection between a monsoon and yoga. The spirit of this haiku revolves around the aspects that make our lives toxic due to a lot of reasons and activities that affect us mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

In terms of the housefly, I believe it is a metaphor that describes the dirt and filth around us. So, when it comes to a monsoon, all that filth comes to the surface and makes the environment more chaotic and toxic. A housefly can also represent the disturbing thoughts that keep us restless and dissatisfied daily. So, it is a monsoon that makes things obvious for us so that we can concentrate on our inner world and find out the best possible solutions to the chaos around and inside us.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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Painting by Iruvan Karunakaran called Charminar Wet

Agnieszka Filipek’s Willow

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment
willow
writing a message
on the lake

– Agnieszka Filipek (Ireland)
First published in The Cicada’s Cry

The willow tree represents strength, stability, growth, and knowledge or learning. This simple but profound haiku represents the shades of all these characteristics that nature presents through its different elements.

Writing a message on the lake shows the imagination of a person who is in sync with nature and beautifully shares her feelings about it. So, nature gives a lot of inspiration through its elements that we need to understand deeply.

The lake depicts calmness and the writing of a message on it means the person has faced many seasons and now she is ready to face life’s experiences.

The letter ‘w’ in this haiku sounds like waves of the past that strike the mind to recollect memories and to scribble them down when one is in a peaceful state.

– Hifsa Ashraf  (Pakistan)

The willow in Japan is a kigo, or a seasonal reference, for late spring. This reflects the magical and fantastical event that is written about in this haiku. Though the willow is not consciously writing a message, it appears so and or could be mistaken as doing so. These tricks of perception often show up in classical haiku.
What is the message about? If we use our imagination, all sorts of ideas could come to mind: the tree is getting too hot and fears the coming of summer, so it is writing a cry for help; it is writing a diary entry about its day; it’s writing what the wind wants to say through its brances; doggerel poetry; and many more ideas.
It’s important that haiku allow the reader to imagine and this is a good example of that principle.
If you enjoyed this haiku and commentary, please leave us a comment. 
istockphoto-1177871054-1024x1024
– Art by Elinalee

Antonietta Losito’s Autumn Walk

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku7 Comments

autumn walk
trying to exchange my breath
with trees

– Antonietta Losito (Italy)

An autumn walk is one of my favourite activities. It’s not simply a walk but a therapeutic process where I feel relieved by being a tiny part of this universe. Autumn is a shifting point where one season transforms into another, leaving profound memories behind.

In this haiku, I can feel the depth of those feelings where a person exchanges their breath with trees in a symbiotic way. It’s a win-win situation–everyone gains benefits from each other. I can see how one can be beneficial for others in order to bring peace and prosperity, as it’s a universal phenomenon that one cannot exist without interacting with others.

So, this beautiful haiku shows the long-term purpose of life or the ultimate goal of life: to bring peace within and around as well.

As a side note, I personally liked the ‘t’ sound that resonates in every line of this haiku.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

Autumn is a time when nature is deterioating. I believe the poet felt for the plight of the trees at this time. She wanted to exchange breath, or life, with the being that brings her fresh oxygen and materials for her home.

You can also see this act as kinship. At a time when things are falling apart, the poet wanted to bring nature and humanity together.

The elongated syllables in the haiku and its pacing reminds of an autumn walk. I think the two verbs work fine, as “trying” creates a stronger scene.

Overall, this haiku displays compassion, communion, and the link between nature and humanity.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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AUTUMN_WALK_PAINTING_Thumb_copy_530x@2xPainting by Terry Harrison

Robert Kingston’s Afternoon Sun

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku, Senryu2 Comments

afternoon sun
a fly ends the sentence
in the crime book

– Robert Kingston (UK)
Bones Journal, 13, 2017

We got an interesting comparison (or contrast?). The fly, so intense and looming on the page of the crime book… and the afternoon sun, blazing and overwhelming. It could be a contrast with the black fly and the bright afternoon sun.

I don’t know if a “crime book” refers to a novel, a non-fiction book about crime, or something that the police use. But that’s part of the fun while reading this poem.

Back to the content: a fly usually comes to dead things, so a fly landing on the page is bringing something tangible to the reading experience of this book. It’s like the fictional and the real world collided at that moment. I think that is the “aha” moment the poet felt. The word “sentence” also has a double meaning: the literal one and the one referring to sentencing in courts.

Breaking down the sound, the long “oo” sounds give a leisurely pace and the “s” letters supply a sharp resonance–a good contrast.

The structure of the haiku/senryu is standard and does fine without any punctuation.

An overall playful and enjoyable haiku/senryu that has a deeper layer if you look close enough.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

This haiku takes me back to my teenage world where I used to read suspense novels and digests. I liked the way the writer conceived the idea of this haiku about a crime scene but also intrigues me to know more about the whole story.

“afternoon sun” is the time when our thoughts and feelings slow down due to the daytime activities and we want something that can make us relaxed and can rejuvenate our energies. I can feel the sense of getting involved in an activity that engages a person’s mind into something more complex and sophisticated like a crime story.

The fly could be a metaphor for something that bothers us or takes our attention away from what we are trying to focus on. It could be the thoughts of a person or any news or any distraction in the environment that lead us to reveal the mystery on our own or let our experience predict the next part of the story. It may be a point of haste where we don’t indulge in the step-wise process of mystery that is written in the crime book. It is the success of a crime book writer who plotted the story in a way where the curiosity of a person is distracted by the environment or surroundings, and it frequently happens these days.

I miss the reading environment these days where all my senses fully enjoy the book that I am holding in my hands.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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1980-abstract-painting-afternoon-sun-40x50-r-baranet-6740

– painting by Robert Baranet called “Afternoon Sun”

Elaine Wilburt’s Shadow

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku1 Comment

crescent moon —
enough shadow
to imagine

– Elaine Wilburt (USA)
Published originally in Chrysanthemum 26, 2019

A crescent moon or a new moon is the start of a new month, which brings hope and energy with it. I take the crescent moon as a source of yearning for new dreams and plans.

“enough shadow” metaphorically has two meanings here: the dark side of the moon that goes into the light with lunar phases and becomes visible to the eyes, and the shadow of a person, which can be called a persona. In both cases, shadows reflect our desires that need time to get fulfilled. I could see a close connection to life’s stages and lunar phases, where a person grows physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally over a period of time. But before that, every aspect of life remains a mystery, like a shadow, and becomes visible once it gets enlightened by time and reflects our true self and/or potential.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I feel this haiku represents a “glass half full” perspective. It makes me think about how something negative, depressing, or solemn can be seen in a positive light. Also, as Hifsa noted, a crescent moon represents a fresh beginning. With that, I believe the poet is expressing optimism for the path ahead on a new journey.

You can say, in addition, that when we look at a crescent moon, we sometimes to fill in the dark space with light through our imagination. We try to view the moon as full, even though it is crescent. So, the haiku could be speaking to our desire to fill in the holes in our perception.

The word “enough” is strong in this poem. It paints the scene perfectly, as it refers to dusk and the shadows that creep in at that time. It demonstrates the level of awareness the poet had when she wrote this haiku.

There is a potent sense of sound in the poem as well. With strings of “o”s, the pace slows down, reminiscent of dusk. With the ample “n”s it has, a feeling of dignity is given to its reading.

Lovely phrasing, imagery, and sound make this haiku impressive.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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f26763ca0bec1bb194185f083953fa73
Painting by Kotozuka Eiichi（琴塚 英一 Japanese, 1906-1976）

 

Anna Maria Domburg-Sancristoforo’s Lake Twilight

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiga, Haiku1 Comment

aviary-image-1517294710424Photograph by Lorena Campiotti, haiku by Anna Maria Domburg-Sancristoforo
Published in Failed Haiku, issue 28, 2018

I enjoy the mystical sense this haiku brings. With the comparison of twilight at a lake and the chasing of clouds’ silence, the reader looks through their mind’s eye to imagine a meditative experience. The poet is perhaps wanting to leave her ego behind and become one with something more primal and foundational: the silence of nature.

Twilight is a time of being between daylight and darkness—something difficult to grasp or pin down. The “chasing” of the silence that clouds contain, either by the narrator or twilight itself, is another thing of abstractness and obscurity. This is akin to the Japanese aesthetic of yugen, which suggests subtle profundity and is associated with mystery.

The structure of the poem fits the rhythm of traditional haiku well and has a clear cut marker (kireji) in the first line to bring about more complexity and a juxtaposition. The strongest sounds in the haiku are the “l”s and “i”s.  Both supply us with a lilting feeling, which in an abstract sense is like the movement of clouds.

The photograph conjures an epic scene to take in and sets the environment well. It compliments the haiku, as it does not go directly into the “chasing” part. It delivers the scene to us so we can dive more into the mind of the poet.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

The opening line of this haiku takes us to the colourful sky that can be observed at twilight. Mostly, twilight has fading colours i.e. red, purple, yellow, and blue. These fading colours reflect the colours of an aura that we have in the evening, especially at twilight. So, the lake’s twilight complements or blends with the colours of our aura. I can feel the deep silence of the lake at twilight that is due to either the migration of birds or other lake creatures, or due to abandonment. In both cases, the lake reflects the colours of twilight, as well as the mood of the person who was observing it.

Chasing silence may indicate the meditative thoughts that are closely embedded in the silence of the lake and intertwined with the colours of the sky. The narrator may have had profound experiences of seeing clouds, which may also be her ongoing thoughts (maybe chaotic), and she wants to move beyond those thoughts to finally get a peaceful mind.

This haiku beautifully presents the whole image in a subtle way, where we can observe a deep relationship among twilight colours, clouds, silence, and mood. It reveals the mystery of human curiosity to go deeper into one’s thoughts and feel the depth of subtle experiences. Overall, I enjoyed the imagery of this haiku which moved me to vividly experience a lake twilight.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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Goran Gatalica’s Tadpoles

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku1 Comment

starlight —
the tadpoles vanish
in a blurry pond

– Goran Gatalica (Croatia)

Under the Basho, (modern haiku), March 2019

This haiku resonates with the things that don’t get a lot of importance in our lives. The opening line ‘starlight’ symbolizes two aspects in the context of this poem.

– It glows but remains unnoticed, especially when the stars are far away from the earth.

– A light dot that is mysterious in many ways.

The tadpoles depict the initial stages of life when things remain insignificant and mysterious, like the tiny stars that are in fact huge.

The blurry pond may symbolize our limited vision and perception of not seeing things beyond their looks. We don’t go into the depth of things that look small in shape and size.

The starlight and tadpoles in a blurry pond lose their impact and significance once they lose their reflection.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

This is one of those haiku that takes us by surprise with its juxtaposition. At first, we might be puzzled by the comparison or contrast being made.

Starlight can take many light years to travel into our view. Also, if we look directly at a distant star, due to it being so far and surrounded by darkness, it can escape our vision after a while.

This all might relate to tadpoles vanishing in a blurry pond. Tadpoles are very small and are hard to spot in a body of water, like stars in the sky. We can easily lose track of them. Plus, the next time we see the tadpoles that we saw before, they might have grown up as a frog or toad. This length of time connects to the duration it takes starlight to travel into our perception.

In another way, the haiku could be presenting a contrast. Tadpoles are larvae and new to life, whereas starlight may be luminescence from a star that has already died. Yet, the shape of a tadpole and starlight are very similar. So, the aesthetic of “as above, so below” in Japanese poetry is demonstrated.

There is a lot of sound in this poem to notice, though it is small. Check out how each line has “l” sounds. There is also a prevalence of “r”s and “p”s. Not only does this make the haiku more musical and a joy to read, but these consonants give the reading more weight.

The format works well, which has the standard pacing of English-language haiku. The dash in the first line gives a clear cut between the two parts of the poem, allowing the reader to easily see a juxtaposition is being made.

Overall, this is a subtle haiku that can swing from being a comparison to contrast in imagery, which can bring about the feeling of connection between mundane life and the cosmos.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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gieorgia-night-sky

– “Starlight Night” by Georgia O’Keeffe