Category: Haiku

Jerome Berglund’s simpler time

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku2 Comments

remembering
a simpler time
ghost apple

— Jerome Berglund (USA)
(previously published in Frogpond 46:1)

The word “ghost” provides a haunting effect in this haiku. It seems the third line is communicating that modern civilization will not likely return to simpler times. I appreciate how this haiku allows me to get transported into an apple orchard before computers and smartphones were invented. This haiku could even speak of times before electricity. As a result, I can experience a lot more silence, quality conversations, and a slower pace of life in those days.

This is an important haiku that speaks of the past, present, and perhaps hints at a haunting or consequential future. 

— Jacob D. Salzer

The first line of this haiku shows the ongoing thoughts or memories of a person who is enjoying the process of remembrance.
‘Remembering’ without punctuation gives no clue to the intensity of this cognitive process which gives readers enough room to take it as something easily coming to the mind or that maybe a person is struggling to recall something from the past.

A ‘simpler time’ may reflect a comfortable part of the past that has no expectations, hardships, or sophisticated lifestyles. It may be a childhood where a person is carefree and has more freedom to enjoy each moment of life fully; a time when a person has no responsibilities to fulfill. The word ‘simpler’ shows a person’s struggle to seek solace in remembering a time when life was not challenging.

‘Ghost apple’ hints at the season. It may be deep winter—a time when a person is more introspective or nostalgic. A ghost apple also symbolizes the illusion of memories, which manifests in denial when a person tries to escape from reality by shifting their focus from a difficult circumstance to something that can give sanctuary. This haiku might also be about the poet seeing a ghost apple as a child and might infer that it is better to focus on the here and now.

In terms of sound, the letter ‘m’ provides the mood of mystery of the past and present being simultaneous, which is happening silently within the person.

— Hifsa Ashraf

As Hifsa mentioned, the kigo for this haiku is probably winter. A ghost apple could mean several things, but most likely it is referencing the phenomenon when an apple is coated with freezing rain and then later becomes frozen itself. As the apple rots and gets mushy, it eventually slips out of the icy mold and the apple-shaped ice is left on the tree. It’s quite a spectacle.

The image in this haiku (ghost apple) has several interpretations. The ghost apple itself could be remembering a simpler time, but that is more abstract or personified. The other interpretation is that the poet is remembering a simpler time and sees the ghost apple as a representation of remembrance in a moment of realization. Remembrance is beautiful at times, but also “cold” like the dead or a ghost.

For the kireji, or punctuation as an approximation of a cut marker, the line break in the second line is enough. An ellipsis could work after the second line, though.

Looking at the pacing, the haiku matches the standard of English-language haiku, with a short first line, a longer second line, and a short third line. “ghost apple” comes as a surprise when it’s read on the page and even more when it’s read out loud.

In terms of Japanese aesthetics, we could say that this haiku contains aware or emotional or spiritual responses from seeing an object—especially its transitory nature. Just by seeing the ghost apple, the poet has been drawn into the dimension of remembrance, which triggers deep emotions of transience.

Hifsa made a great comment about the letter “m” but I also enjoy the letter “l” in this haiku. It gives a sense of sweetness and softness to the haiku.

Overall, this is a concise and effective haiku with a unique image, prompting profound imagination in the reader.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky

Photograph by Andrew Sietsema

Randy Brooks’ row

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku3 Comments

digging potatoes
her story reaches the end
of the row

— Randy Brooks (USA)

Commentary

I appreciate how this haiku transports me to a farm, where digging potatoes is both a source of sustenance and a way to earn a living. I also appreciate how this haiku transports me back in time before we had cellphones and were more connected with the Earth. While this haiku may seem simple at first, I see deep implications. 

This haiku reminds me that words travel fast, but not always accurately. If the original story is heard by someone who tries to retell the story to someone else, the story can change subtly or more drastically from person to person. As a result, this haiku shows us the dangers of mistranslations and misunderstandings when stories are told and retold, especially by word of mouth. By the end of the row, the person may have heard a story that is much different from the original version. If this happens, there can be dissonance and profound consequences.

On the other hand, this haiku could have a positive connotation if her story is passed down accurately from person to person. Sharing stories was (and still is) a way to bond with each other and can help make the day more enjoyable too.

In Indigenous families, they have a remarkable way of preserving ancient stories by word of mouth from generation to generation. Storytelling is a deep and integral part of their culture and has continued over thousands of years. Many of their stories have also been recorded in English through books and transcripts. A good example is a book titled Indian Legends of the Pacific Northwest compiled by Ella E. Clark. I admire how Indigenous myths and legends contain important lessons that can be applied today, even though they are very old. 

I want to thank Randy Brooks for writing and sharing this haiku with us. This is an important philosophical and social haiku with depth and meaning.

 — Jacob D. Salzer 

It’s the ambience that makes this haiku concrete, digging into one’s life and seeing its harvest. This haiku also shows the hardship of a farmer’s life who expects something good in the end. Digging potatoes can relate to garnering a reward after the toil of work—a prize in the form of energy, taste, sustenance, and memories.

‘her story’ is a turning point in this haiku. It may tell us about the life of a farmer, a housewife, a worker, or a mother who has to feed her family. Digging potatoes may be correlated to planting dreams, wishes, or memories, and waiting for the harvest season for fruitful results. In this metaphorical harvesting, support (tools) aid her in gathering what she has worked towards.

This haiku is crafted very well. The words that are used let us wander through the various stories of her life. Her story reaching the end may reflect her ageing, fatigue, departure, failure, or success. The word ‘row’ in this haiku is carefully employed. From it, we can see the multi folds of this story that may indicate a poor family relationship, hardship without reward or encouragement, certain expectations from others of the harvest, or a dispute. The other side may be the row as a path that has taken her to her destiny, which may be both good and bad. I see here the chances we are given when we work hard. It depends on the path we have taken, the decisions or choices we have made, and the resilience or patience we have shown.

With no well-defined kigo, no punctuation, and an interesting line break in the second line, this haiku is worth reading again and again. It gives much for the reader to ponder.

— Hifsa Ashraf

As Hifsa mentioned, there is no particular kigo, or seasonal reference, implied in this haiku. However, with the best times to harvest potatoes being in August to September in Illinois (where the poet lives), we could place the poem in those months. With the melancholy mood of this haiku, I feel it could be September.

There is no kireji or cut marker, but there is a grammatical shift starting in the second line. In the interaction between the two parts of the haiku, it seems the potatoes could be a metaphor for the story of the person being referenced. Perhaps, her history is hearty and rich, yet relatable.

The use of the word “row” and “end” intrigues me. I see different levels for each word to be read into. The person in question could be narrating a story until she reaches the end of the row of potatoes. Or, it could be that the woman or girl could have planted the potatoes and they are her story. This could imply her passing. While digging out the potatoes, the poet could be taking out her story, one by one.

In terms of sound, the letter “o” attracts me the most. The elongated syllables make the haiku more plaintive, matching the mood. I feel the letter “r” accentuates the seriousness of the imagery,

Looking at the pacing, the lines follow the standard for English-language haiku of a short first line, a longer second line, and a short third line. This approximates the rhythm of traditional Japanese haiku.

Ultimately, it seems the most potent quality of this haiku is its white space and double meanings in its imagery. With these, the haiku resonates in unexpected ways.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky

“Woman Digging Up Potatoes,” Vincent van Gogh

Kelly Sargent’s campfire sparks

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku2 Comments

campfire sparks 
teenagers
slip away

— Kelly Sargent (USA)

(published previously in Frogpond, 45:1, 2022; Touchstone Award for Individual Poems nominee 2022)

Commentary

“Campfire sparks” is a vivid image. It lets us pause and imagine the scene, which is realistic yet imaginative and subtle in several ways. One can wonder about the setting, which can be either a recreational camp or a refugee camp. It connects us with both sides of the story (visible/tangible and invisible/intangible) where one can see not only the mundane but also the spiritual side.

In addition, campfire sparks show transience but it also reflects how beautifully they are transformed from the ashes of wood into something that carves the darkness with their unique structure. However, they also demonstrate how our existence can become fragile over time, especially when it passes through hardship like the wood in a fire.

Teenage is a period where an individual’s personality is developing and reshaping. This is a stage of life when the focus can be more on heroism and risks that may end up in thrills and joy. Teenagers may concentrate less on lessons that nature displays than adults. Teenagers usually can’t see the subtlety or delicacy of life and its realities that spark off and on. This is shown in the closing line where the poet takes us from a vivid image to something that disappears either as part of the subconscious or as a memory.

With no punctuation and soft sounds in this haiku, the poem is more open for interpretation. I liked the way sparks are highlighted and well connected with perhaps the most significant part of life.

— Hifsa Ashraf

Campfire sparks are a powerful visual to start with. The sparks can speak to our primeval life and spirituality. The word “campfire” could be referring to a student camp or a fire made while camping—both are relatable for readers.

The focus on teenagers is interesting. It is a peculiar age to be, as one is in the middle of being a child and an adult. It is easy to be unsure of oneself at that age. With “slip away,” I feel there are several dimensions to it in the context of teenagers. The teens could simply be bored and want to go away to do other things instead of being around a campfire. Or, “slip away” could be more metaphoric in that teens often seem distant from parents and loved ones. It could also have a more somber meaning in that many teenagers commit suicide or follow a path that leads to an early death.

This kind of haiku is difficult to write in terms of the subject matter, but I believe the poet did well in keeping it simple and concise.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky

As a spark proceeds from the fire, it has been said jivas (individual souls) with their respective karma emanate from Shiva (universal Divinity). 

I feel the campfire could be a summer kigo, though I like that this haiku could apply to any season or time of year.

I feel the campfire resembles the emotions of teenagers (which are often difficult to self-manage) and passion. The teenagers slipping away could imply impatience and wanting to express love, away from society and its conditioning. I also see the fire as a symbol of the transience of a human lifetime, though I do believe in life after death. 

There is a balance of concrete imagery and mystery in this haiku, allowing us as readers to enter the experience in our own way. Teenage years are a challenging time. A powerful haiku.

— Jacob D. Salzer

Photo Credit: Public Domain