Category: Senryu

Haiku and Senryu by John Shiffer, Sathya Venkatesh, and Michael Battisto

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graduation party
every firework ember
falling to earth

— John Shiffer (USA)
Published in Modern Haiku, 56:3, Autumn, 2025

Commentary from Hifsa Ashraf:

This haiku captures a bittersweet moment of transition, one that encompasses both endings and new beginnings. The graduation party is a universal milestone, marking a culmination of years of learning, friendships, and youthful freedom. The phrase is straightforward with no punctuation or emotional exaggeration, mirroring the simplicity and shared nature of the experience. It’s a scene most of us can relate to, making it emotionally accessible and real.

The second line acts as a pivot, symbolizing the peak of celebration where fireworks represent excitement, hope, and brilliance. But, there’s a quiet shift as we read “every firework ember/ falling to earth.” The embers, though once radiant, now fall, showing the fleeting nature of youth and celebration. The descent signifies the reality that follows: adulthood, responsibility, and an unknown future.

The closing line, “falling to earth,” deepens the metaphor. It suggests a grounding after a high, a fall not necessarily in failure, but in transition. It’s the movement from a protected world into a vast, unpredictable one. The contrast between the light of the ember and the gravity of its fall is powerful and unique, which lets us reflect on contrasting scenes, suggesting the impermanence and transience of life.

withered flowers 
on the temple chariot
morning twilight

— Sathya Venkatesh (India)

Commentary from Jacob D. Salzer:

A powerful haiku that shows impermanence and age-old traditions that have survived over several generations. I see the last line as a metaphor for the mystery of the afterlife. I interpret the morning twilight as a time when our souls continue, long after the physical body (perhaps symbolized by the withered flowers) fades away.

According to Symbolism – Hindu Temple Chariot As Replica Of The Temple by Abhilash Rajendran:

“In many parts of India the sight of a majestic temple chariot rolling slowly through crowded streets is both stirring and sacred. Known as the ratha, these elaborately carved wooden vehicles carry the utsava murti—the processional image of the deity—beyond the temple walls. In effect, the ratha becomes a moving replica of the inner sanctum, bringing the divine presence to every doorstep. This article explores the rich symbolism of the temple chariot, the reasons for its enduring popularity, the profound idea of the god leaving his abode, and many other fascinating facets of this age-old tradition. At its core the ratha is not merely a transport but a microcosm of the temple itself. Every design element echoes architectural features of the permanent shrine: towering pillars reflect temple gopurams, carved panels depict mythic scenes found on sanctum walls, and a miniature vimana (temple tower) crowns the top. When the deity’s image is placed upon this mobile shrine, worshippers are reminded that the chariot is a fully consecrated temple in motion. This replication underlines the belief that the divine resides not only within stone walls but in the very heart of the community.”

I appreciate the notion of seeing the divine in the ordinary. It speaks to a universal compassion that is quite powerful as it transcends our many differences and unites people.

In summary, this is a powerful haiku that sparks deep conversations about age-old spiritual and religious traditions, the impermanence of our brief human lives, the importance of community, and the mystery of the afterlife. Equally important, it shows a kind of compassion that’s universal, revealing divinity or spiritual energy within all people. A beautiful haiku.

protesters marching
wearing
sweatshop shoes

— Michael Battisto (USA)
Published in Modern Haiku 52:1, 2021

Commentary from Nicholas Klacsanzky:

This senryu hinges on irony and ethical tension—a hallmark of the genre’s focus on human behavior. The opening line, protesters marching, shows collectivity and moral purpose. However, as is often the case in senryu, this one ends with a shock of hypocrisy.

The second line, wearing, sets up the suspense for the third line. It is a fine use of enjambment, and the line matches the first line with prominent “e” and “r” sounds to create euphony.

The final line, sweatshop shoes, delivers the punchline—with more euphony. The imagery exposes an uncomfortable contradiction: even with good intentions, we are irrevocably contributing to ubiquitous and exploitative companies. Living in the modern world, we would have to live off the grid to fully rid ourselves of these greedy practices—even with something as simple as shoes. With a masterful stroke, the poet refrains from judgmental language, allowing the irony to speak for itself.

The poem’s emotional effect is quiet but sharp. It provokes self-reflection rather than outrage, as the reader is implicated alongside the protesters. In this way, this senryu eventually centers on empathy. The march continues but with an unresolved weight on its feet.

Utagawa Hiroshige I (1797–1858, Japan), Fireworks at Ryogoku (bridge), #98 from the One Hundred Famous Views of Edos eries,1858. Color woodcut print on paper, 14 3/16″ x 9 7/16″ (36 x 24 cm). © 2017 Brooklyn Museum. (BMA-822)

Haiku by Michael Shoemaker, Anthony Lusardi, and Richard L. Matta

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morning campfire smoke
curls and rises above pines
meadowlark’s sing-song

— Michael Shoemaker (USA)
Under the Bashō, June 24, 2024

Commentary from Hifsa Ashraf:

The first line of this 5/7/5 haiku tells us the time and space where one can directly imagine the whole scene before going into the details. A morning campfire can be used for warming the ambience, a get-together, cooking, etc. In any case, a campfire usually is a sign of lively activities. Adding smoke makes this haiku a bit more profound and mystical. Is it just smoke and no fire? Does it happen before or after the fire? 

The second line is more focused on the details of the smoke, curling and rising above the pines. This leaves our imagination to run wild and to think of the shape, structure, intensity, and smell of smoke. The second line could be about how smoke overshadows nature. It may be a sign of air pollution adding toxicity to the pines, which is a symbol of purity.

The meadowlark’s sing-song could be a sign of alertness depending on the pitch. For me, it may be more like a complaint or a reaction to smoke/pollution—probably in the form of a sad melody we commonly ignore. The other aspect to consider is how nature responds to our acts of toxicity with sweet melodies. The meadowlark’s song demonstrates resistance and determination in the form of music and voice.

This haiku, in its simplicity, describes a story of our actions to spread pollution and toxicants and nature’s response to it.

gloaming . . .
a spider clings to                
her egg sac

— Anthony Lusardi (USA)
tsuri-doro, issue #19, Jan/Feb 2024

Commentary from Jacob D. Salzer: 

“Gloaming” means twilight or dusk, but it can also mean sullenness and melancholy. I appreciate how this haiku shows a mother’s love and protection with the verb “clings” and the egg sac. The mother spider is protecting her eggs from something or perhaps many things. We don’t know what dangers might be present for the spider and her eggs, which opens the door to our imagination. Dusk or twilight effectively sets the mood and atmosphere of the poem, as light fades into darkness. With that in mind, this haiku might have a somewhat haunting atmosphere as what is visible becomes invisible, yet there is still enough light for the poet to capture this moment. As the night deepens, we enter the Great Mystery. In short, this is an effective haiku that gives us a glimpse of a mother’s love for her soon-to-be children, which can apply to other creatures, insects, and mammals as well.

pinewood derby
still missing the weight 
of dad’s touch

— Richard L. Matta (USA)
1st Place Senryu, Kaji Aso Studio, 35th International Haiku Contest 2024

Commentary from Nicholas Klacsanzky:

This senryu tapped into my memories, as I participated in pinewood derbies when I was a young lad with my father. More than that, this senryu uses the word “weight” effectively to have a double meaning of the physical weight of the cars and the emotional/spiritual weight of a father’s presence. “Missing” could imply that the poet’s father has either passed away or is out of contact—leaving that justly up to the reader to interpret.

I also enjoyed the sound in this senryu, with the letters “o” and “w” prominently featured. The instances of “o” contribute to the senryu being slowed down and savored, whereas “w” manifests an airy feeling to the poem. In my opinion, both of these attributes complement the context in which the senryu is written. Lastly, the senryu is efficiently written with only nine words, simple language, and excellent pacing in the line breaks. It is clear why this senryu won an award: it not only resonates with readers effortlessly but also demonstrates a keen understanding of the technical aspects of senryu.

Illustration by Louis Agassiz Fuertes of an Eastern Meadowlark (Sturnella magna), from The Burgess Bird Book for Children (1919)

Samo Kreutz’s thousand ways

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kid’s bed
a thousand ways
to disappear

— Samo Kreutz (Slovenia)
(previously published in THF Haiku Dialogue, December 2022)

Commentary

I greatly appreciate the imaginative space of this haiku. This haiku transports readers into books, stories, and dreams. As a child, my parents would read to my sister and I. These are wonderful memories that I cherish. It seems in our modern world, it can be easy to forget the imagination, but when we do this, I think we all pay the price. I feel our imagination is important because it opens our hearts and minds, and can lead to many different perspectives and creative ideas.

I feel “a thousand ways to disappear” is a great way to express being completely immersed in a book, story, or dream. 

This is a touching haiku that shows the power of the imagination, stories, and dreams.

— Jacob D. Salzer

A lovely haiku that covers the stories of almost every person as a child. It shows the tangible and intangible aspects of life where a child’s bed is taken as a symbol of relief where one seeks solace and catharsis. The bed helps a child to become calm and have an uninterrupted environment where they can play, sleep, dream, and listen to stories. It’s a place that takes them to another world where they can freely think, feel, and do whatever they want.

It’s a domain where there are a thousand ways to see life differently when they are on their own and where all senses converge to provide a holistic perspective that is calm and content. Adults might desire to disappear into childhood memories, to feel nostalgic, or to have deep imagination/daydreaming that keeps them away from this chaotic world. I see this as an escape from reality where a person goes back to their childhood and gets lost in a time that was carefree and without responsibilities.

— Hifsa Ashraf

There is no distinct kigo or seasonal reference here. That is fine, especially since it can fit in the genre of senryu. There is a time placement of early childhood, though.

The way the two parts of the poem fit together is intriguing. Something as overlooked as a kid’s bed as an adult is given special appreciation. The word “disappear” is the most crucial, in my opinion. It connects to both adult and child selves. The juxtaposition in this haiku or senryu reminds me of the saying, “From one, comes many.”

There is no punctuation in the poem besides the needed apostrophe. This gives more of a case for fitting in the senryu genre. However, the line between haiku and senryu, especially in English, is often rather thin.

The pacing, with a short first line, a longer second line, and a short third line, is common practice in the English-language haiku world to approximate the Japanese rhythm of haiku.

The concision in which the poem is written is commendable. The poet uses just the right amount of words with the most effective phrasing. It is fitting for such a simple, yet poignant subject. The chosen diction is on point as well for the mood of the poem.

The sound of the letter “d” in this poem is key. It provides weight to the poem and a staccato rhythm, which connects to “thousands” in an abstract way.

With a mastery of simple power, the poet delivers a nostalgic and perhaps melancholic form of celebration.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky

BEDROOM IN ARLES | THE BEDROOM | 1889 | VINCENT VAN GOGH

Royal Baysinger’s who 

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku, Senryu1 Comment

not there
to remind me who’s who
— your funeral

– Royal Baysinger (Canada)

(previously published in Frogpond 45.2 & skipping stones: The Red Moon Anthology of English-Language Haiku 2022)

Commentary

The structure of this haiku is different from the usual haiku but it provides enough room to think about the message the poet wants to share with us. At first glance, I feel it’s simply a flow of ongoing thoughts about a sad reality. The thoughts don’t need to be rearranged to make them perfect for readers. We can easily comprehend what is being said without focusing more on the style of this haiku.

The opening line ‘not there’ without ellipses lets our thoughts wander until we relate it to our personal experiences or observations. I paused for a while to think about the deep meaning of these two words that may sound meaningless if there is nothing after them. But, when I read them in the context they are given, they make a lot of sense—especially when I see them in physical and mental contexts. Who is not there? Myself? Others? Or, the person who is no more? In simple words, it’s a void that has been left after the death of a person where the person who is mourning is trying to relate it to their thoughts and/or feelings.

The second line gives meaning to the first line yet it is a mystery who is reminding that person. And, who’s who? The poet has beautifully left room for us to find answers to these questions by relating our personal experiences to them. We all pass through grief and mourn over the death of our dear ones and we all somehow pass through the same feelings where certain questions are left unanswerable. Within the context of this haiku, it illustrates the feelings of a mourner who is all alone and facing difficulties in dealing with people who are in a close circle. In other words, it’s about handling social relationships which were previously handled by the deceased one. It shows a lot of dependence of one person on another which has ended now. Also, it demonstrates how we are related to each other in a wide social network and how we need each other to strengthen our sense of belonging.

Looking at the punctuation, the em dash in the third line provides a long pause to the third line which allows us to see the whole poem from different angles. ‘Your’ may address one person or every person in society. In both cases, it projects the significance of a funeral as an event that reveals who belongs to whom and how life becomes different after the departure of a person from one’s life. 

– Hifsa Ashraf

I feel this haiku speaks to the value of one person in our families and communities. I like the humbling reminder of the interconnectedness of life. I also appreciate the subjects of identity and memory. 

This haiku reminds me of my mother and her social connections. Throughout her life, she has connected so many people in mysterious and meaningful ways.

Also, this haiku brings me an overwhelming sense of sadness, love, and gratitude for the person who passed away. I get the sense that many people came to their funeral. Because of this, I feel the poet is moved by not only all the people he recognizes (even without remembering their names) but also by all the people he has never seen before. The life of each person has a ripple effect with wide rings echoing in the cosmos in ways the limited mind cannot fully understand.

I feel this haiku is a humbling reminder that one person is never truly alone and that life is connected in mysterious, subtle, and meaningful ways.

This is a beautiful and powerful haiku that speaks to love, gratitude, and our limited time here in human bodies.

– Jacob D. Salzer

This could be classified as a senryu. It is written about human life in a poignant way. Senryu need not be humorous or silly. Many senryu, traditional and modern, portray the melancholy of being a person due to our flaws. This poem can fit into that category.

There is no kigo, or seasonal reference, present. This points even more towards my senryu hypothesis.

However, there is punctuation, which senryu are commonly devoid of. Traditionally, senryu do not have kireji, or cut markers. In the end, though, I am leaning towards it being a senryu. Ultimately, its label is not of serious consequence, since the poem connects well with readers no matter what we call it.

The em dash on the third line, for me, conveys the emotion of loss and feeling lost in the face of a loved one’s passing. I believe it’s a brilliant use of punctuation.

Thinking about the sonics of the poem, the elongated syllables of “o” make the mood even more somber. The strong “f” in the last line ending with the soft “l” additionally creates an emotional effect.

A senryu that expresses loss with brevity and directness but also irony.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky

Frants Henningsen – A Funeral

Barnabas I. Adeleke’s muezzin’s call

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muezzin’s call . . .
Santa Claus steps aside
to make ablutions

— Barnabas I. Adeleke (Nigeria)
(previously published in Frogpond, 43.2) 

There are a few haiku that beautifully reflect interfaith harmony and show reverence and respect for every faith. This haiku is one of them.

The muezzin’s call to prayer is not only the call for prayer but also a message of peace for all those who are on the right path. The path that leads to serve humanity and make this world a better place. The writer beautifully blends two faiths based on the common grounds that are reflected in this haiku.

Santa Claus stepping aside is a gesture of reverence and respect not for other faiths but his own. It seems the Santa Claus in this case is a Muslim who took a break for offering a prayer, or it is a metaphor based on the actions a Santa Claus performs that brings happiness to others’ lives during the time of Christmas by distributing presents.

Ablution depicts the purification of the body before one offers a prayer. It is another way to clean one’s self and then serve others. The blend of beliefs and actions are interwoven beautifully in this haiku. It displays religious harmony in a true sense.

The muezzin’s call makes a person purify their body and soul before serving others. It’s an awakening call for all those who believe in peace, prosperity, and happiness.

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

Most haiku are based on a season. The mention of Santa Claus sets this haiku firmly in winter and specifically at the time of Christmas. This could be said to be a senryu as well, which usually examines human life and cuts into it with satire, commentary, and societal backlash. 

In the spirit of giving, it seems like the Muslim man who is dressed up as Santa Claus for an event takes a moment out of his work to pray. I feel this is symbolic of how Christmas has turned into less of a Christian tradition and more of a universal holiday that focuses on giving and receiving gifts generously. In the moment described, the man who pretends to be Santa Claus gives a gift to himself: a moment of peace. He also surrenders himself to God, which can be seen as a gift as well. 

There is nothing hypocritical with a Muslim man portraying Santa Claus, by the way. Though Saint Nicholas was a Christian and is the inspiration for the myth of Santa, Islam and Christianity both puts importance on charity. As a side note, Jesus is discussed over 100 times in the Quran. And surprisingly, Mother Mary is mentioned more in the Quran than in both of the Christian testaments.

One way to look at this haiku is that despite acting a part for work, we should never forget who we are and our foundation. The act in the haiku also calls to mind the humbleness and faith one should have as a religious or spiritual person.

In terms of technical aspects, we can see that this was written in the standard format for English-language haiku. In addition, the sound of this poem can be noted in the use of the letters “u,” “s,” and “c.” In each line, “u” is employed, which slows down the reading of this haiku. This allows the reader to imagine the scene better and to feel the calm of prayer.

It is a haiku or senryu that is at once humorous and profound, speaking to interfaith beliefs and the weaving of cultures.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

egypt3_1650223c

Hemapriya Chellappan’s Monsoon Yoga

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku, Senryu9 Comments

monsoon yoga
here and there
a housefly

Hemapriya Chellappan (India)
Failed Haiku, journal of senryu, issue 45, Sept 2019

I’ve been in India during the monsoon season, and I can say how exciting and intense it is to see the rain crash down on the streets. All the commotion is compared to a housefly buzzing around here and there. Something epic and something small in aesthetic unison. Also, it contrasts the calmness of doing yoga. So, you can say we got a strong juxtaposition in this senryu/haiku–and a touch of humor.

Technically, it’s easy to spot the string of “o”s in the poem. It stretches the pace of the reading, slowing us down like yoga. Plus, we got some “r”s and “h”s to make it more musical. In terms of the structure and wording, it’s an efficient senryu/haiku–not wasting a word.

Great imagery, a fine juxtaposition, and a keen sense of sound make this poem an enjoyable read.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky  (USA)

The monsoon season is a time of yearning and transformation where many views outside and inside get refreshed and soil absorbs a lot of stories of the mourning sky. The sound of rain, petrichor, and new views bring original perspectives to life–and if we shift our focus from our world to the inner world, as in yoga and meditation, we find it very soothing, as there is a direct and deep connection between a monsoon and yoga. The spirit of this haiku revolves around the aspects that make our lives toxic due to a lot of reasons and activities that affect us mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

In terms of the housefly, I believe it is a metaphor that describes the dirt and filth around us. So, when it comes to a monsoon, all that filth comes to the surface and makes the environment more chaotic and toxic. A housefly can also represent the disturbing thoughts that keep us restless and dissatisfied daily. So, it is a monsoon that makes things obvious for us so that we can concentrate on our inner world and find out the best possible solutions to the chaos around and inside us.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

If you enjoyed the haiku and commentary, please leave us a comment. 

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Painting by Iruvan Karunakaran called Charminar Wet

Robert Kingston’s Afternoon Sun

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku, Senryu2 Comments

afternoon sun
a fly ends the sentence
in the crime book

– Robert Kingston (UK)
Bones Journal, 13, 2017

We got an interesting comparison (or contrast?). The fly, so intense and looming on the page of the crime book… and the afternoon sun, blazing and overwhelming. It could be a contrast with the black fly and the bright afternoon sun.

I don’t know if a “crime book” refers to a novel, a non-fiction book about crime, or something that the police use. But that’s part of the fun while reading this poem.

Back to the content: a fly usually comes to dead things, so a fly landing on the page is bringing something tangible to the reading experience of this book. It’s like the fictional and the real world collided at that moment. I think that is the “aha” moment the poet felt. The word “sentence” also has a double meaning: the literal one and the one referring to sentencing in courts.

Breaking down the sound, the long “oo” sounds give a leisurely pace and the “s” letters supply a sharp resonance–a good contrast.

The structure of the haiku/senryu is standard and does fine without any punctuation.

An overall playful and enjoyable haiku/senryu that has a deeper layer if you look close enough.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

This haiku takes me back to my teenage world where I used to read suspense novels and digests. I liked the way the writer conceived the idea of this haiku about a crime scene but also intrigues me to know more about the whole story.

“afternoon sun” is the time when our thoughts and feelings slow down due to the daytime activities and we want something that can make us relaxed and can rejuvenate our energies. I can feel the sense of getting involved in an activity that engages a person’s mind into something more complex and sophisticated like a crime story.

The fly could be a metaphor for something that bothers us or takes our attention away from what we are trying to focus on. It could be the thoughts of a person or any news or any distraction in the environment that lead us to reveal the mystery on our own or let our experience predict the next part of the story. It may be a point of haste where we don’t indulge in the step-wise process of mystery that is written in the crime book. It is the success of a crime book writer who plotted the story in a way where the curiosity of a person is distracted by the environment or surroundings, and it frequently happens these days.

I miss the reading environment these days where all my senses fully enjoy the book that I am holding in my hands.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

If you enjoyed this haiku and commentary, please leave us a comment.

1980-abstract-painting-afternoon-sun-40x50-r-baranet-6740

– painting by Robert Baranet called “Afternoon Sun”

Vandana Parashar’s War Zone

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war zone…
no one left to decide
who is right

– Vandana Parashar (India)
Cattails, May, 2017

I see two ways readers can interpret this haiku.

1) Both sides of a conflict have sustained great casualties, and ideas of morality are left outside the realm of comprehension.

2) War always engages in violence and in that respect, neither side should be able to decide what is right or wrong.

Both interpretations contain a sense of irony. It is ironic that we try to be moralistic when it comes to killing other people for land, resources, domination, and more.

I feel the ellipsis conveys the tragedy of the circumstance and the silence after an intense battle. The structure is standard, but the chilling “o” sounds strung through the haiku provide a strong impact.

I think this haiku, or even senryu, makes for striking but subtle commentary on the irony and tragedy of war.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

This poignant haiku takes us not only to the actual battlefield but also to the daily grudges and rows that are mostly endless and bring harmful effects to our lives. I have observed such situations many times in my own life where fights based on egos don’t end just because everyone thinks he or she is right and the next person is wrong.

The first line of this haiku is about a war zone: a zone that is a territory full of danger and harmful effects. The war zone indicates our mindsets and our egos with negative thoughts and feelings that disturb us mentally, physically, and spiritually, that bound us to not see out of the box, that steal our positive energies and act as a slow poison.

When one is in that war zone, one is not able to think or act rationally or logically. This is the level where we don’t go beyond our limited perceptions of the world and relationships, which makes us judge our relationships without having set criteria. We hallucinate about our surroundings and defend ourselves, merely giving reasoning to what is delusional and not reality. We feel that we are right and we justify our point of view with arguments without logic. We live with such delusions all the time which takes us to the comfort level of not being rejected, defeated, or surrendered.

Overall, this haiku is all about our negative attitude towards relationships when we are having trouble handling issues and problems. We end our relationships without even reaching any conclusion about who is wrong and who is right. We have a false self-image and we live with it all our lives and get involved in an endless war that we pass on from generation to generation without reaching any finality.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

If you enjoyed this poem and the commentary, leave us comment.

uUBtMiF

“The Battle of Sekigahara” by Kris Knapp

Helen Buckingham’s Wafer

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku, Senryu2 Comments

church bells versus
the ice cream van
a wafer each way

© Helen Buckingham (UK)
(Presence, 54, 2016)

The image at first reading draws an amused smile, thinking of this van whose call is contrasted by church bells and which at the bottom presents its ice creams in wafers similar to the host. But, a reflection immediately arises. The ice cream van is so earthly, a bearer of carnal pleasure, compared to the bells that for centuries have been calling for moments of spirituality. It is, therefore, to be thought that the van is practically reduced to silence. It makes one think of the Middle Ages, of the centuries in which every frivolous pleasure was branded as a mirror of evil… and, in the present moment, to the heavy hand that every religion continues to have, openly or more subtly, towards its believers. This poem leaves a lot of food for thought, that delves deep into reality, and keeps a sense of lightness, which is the merit of a successful haiku.

– Margherita Petriccione (Italy)

As I perceive this, there is an element of conflict between divine duty and human desires. The haijin is trying to keep both in balance but keeps humor alive. There are irony and humor in this and I feel this haiku has the Japanese aesthetic of karumi.

– Pragya Vishnoi (India)

I can see both the materialistic and spiritual sides of life in this beautiful haiku.

Church bells are a call for prayer to gather the blessings of life and also indicate the awakening of the inner self by focusing on spiritual energy. This aspect takes us closer to the self that we usually ignore due to different activities of life. The bells repeatedly toll to remind us to take a break from worldly chaos and the fast pace of life. On the other hand, we always rush to complete our daily activities and to-do lists so that we can find ways to stay in competition or do work well.

The ice cream van indicates our cravings that build up from different flavours and tastes of life which pull us towards them. But, they melt down fast like ice cream and we strive for the next flavor or taste of life. This endless cycle goes on, where we share mixed feelings and collect precious memories as well.

The word ‘versus’ in the first line shows that we are oscillating between two ends, one that leads us deep inside–a sort of spiritual journey. The other one is worldly desires that pull us daily to enjoy the bounties and blessings of life that surround us. In both ways, there is a wafer that may come as blessings, happiness, joys, or self-fulfillment only if we keep a balance between both ends, which can bring harmony in our lives and give us real satisfaction in life. I love the simplicity and choice of words in this haiku that metaphorically hide the image of the entirety of life and give us a lesson about enjoying every aspect of life by keeping balance.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

A lot is going on here. While an ice cream van can represent the season of summer as a kigo, to me this reads more of a senryu than a haiku.

I like the clash between the sound of church bells and the notorious melody an ice cream van makes at the same time.

I can picture people outside the church being tempted by a passing ice cream truck perhaps because of the outdoor heat while struggling to make it to church on time because that’s the purpose of church bells, which is to gather people of faith together, while an ice cream van gathers people for profit.

The struggle between what’s holy and the worldly is strong in this senryu. What makes it strong to me is the power of God over something trivial as ice cream or vice versa if you’re an atheist.

Then, the poet adds on the last line “a wafer each way” which makes me, the reader, wonder if it is a communion wafer or an ice cream wafer? Perhaps a person who’s taking a communion wafer is thinking of ice cream at the same time or it could be the other way around.

This poem is a great example of ‘show, don’t tell’ through sensory images. Mixing the images lets the reader visualize or interpret what is happening when two things happen at once.

– Fractled (USA)

I enjoy the comedic nature of this haiku/senryu. “a wafer each way” instantly makes me chuckle. However, there is a deeper layer behind the comedy. The temptation of eating ice cream, something earthly, is summoned by the ice cream van’s music, while the church bells bring out a sense of faith and duty in us. This mix causes a person to choose between what is most important to him or her. In a way, life is about making choices, and those choices determine who we are.

I like the sound of “van” and “versus,” “wafer” and “way,” “church” and “cream.” It brings out the playful sense in which this poem was written. The lack of punctuation and the pacing of the poem also suggest that it leans more towards a senryu.

An enjoyably deep senryu.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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– Saint Andrey’s Church in Kyiv, Ukraine

Panagiotis Kentikelenis’ Kin

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Senryu1 Comment

closed casket kin gather after a long time

© Panagiotis Kentikelenis (Greece)

A heartfelt senryu that reflects human miseries and departures. “closed casket” may symbolize death, annihilation, and endless miseries where a person exists but does not live life fully. In this case, I can see the departure of a lone person who was abandoned by his family and/or having prolonged illness. The only misery here is that people wait for the death of such relatives, who become a hassle for the family—especially when one has to visit them every day. These days, people rarely visit their relatives because of busy lives. So, only the departure of someone makes an extended family come together in order to attend the funeral, and that visit is just a formality in most cases. So, the closed casket also symbolizes the death of values, sympathy, and the human factor that is missing these days.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I was impressed by this strong juxtaposition around the topic of accepting death. By reading this poem, i tumbled into one of the myths i most love: Orpheus and Eurydice. Famous is the unforgivable mistake the lover commits by coming back from the realm of the dead, the Persephone’s, the underworld. According to Phaedrus in Plato’s Symposium, the infernal deities only “presented an apparition” of Eurydice to him. Plato’s representation of Orpheus is in fact that of a coward; instead of choosing to die in order to be with his love, he mocked the deities in an attempt to visit Hades, to get her back alive. As his love was not “true”—meaning that he was not willing to die for it—he was punished by the deities, first by giving him only the apparition of his former wife in the underworld and then by having him killed.

Coming back to the words of the poem, “kin gather after a long time” gives the idea of escapement and a sad reason to meet each other. It is the consequence of the increasing loss of family bounds in contemporary society, no more interested in developing emotional ties among blood relatives as in the past….

This poem is a chilling warning to live life generously by sharing our emotions and experiences rather than to be lonely and self centered.

– Lucia Fontana (Italy)

Senryu often exhibit a dark irony, and this poem is a fine example of this case. A family comes together to see a loved one at a funeral that has not seen each other for an extended period of time, but they do not even have a chance to see this relative due to the closed casket. It reminds me of when certain relatives at a particular funeral I attended gave many flowers, but they rarely gave flowers to this person during the time she was alive. As Hifsa said, family gatherings, even funerals, are now becoming increasingly detached from emotion and connection. The irony in this senryu points to this societal conundrum well without stating it.

I also enjoyed the economy of this senryu, as in only eight words, it carries a lot of meaning and implications. This is even more evident in the fact that it is a one-liner. By being a monoku, it can be read in several ways: “closed casket/kin gather after a long time,” “closed casket kin/ gather after a long time,” and “closed casket kin gather after a long time.” This allows the reader to find more nuances in this seemingly simple verse.

Sonically, the first three words begin with a “k” sound. This lends to the starkness of the moment. In addition, the long “o”s of “closed” and “long” adds to the melancholy.

A succinct one-line senryu that creates pointed commentary on the nature of our modern familial relationships—especially its disconnection.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

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– Art by Ron Frazier

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