Elancharan Gunasekaran’s Raft

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

raft anchored
to the full moon…
shadows dive in

– Elancharan Gunasekaran (Singapore)
Published in Wales Haiku Journal, summer, 2019

Not only is the imagery striking but the way the poet plays with the senses is highly creative. The full moon, reflected on the water, appears to be anchoring the raft either by a string or a chain. This, of course, isn’t factual, but it looks this is actually taking place. This type of imagery is prevalent in haiku and was used often by the old masters, such as Basho.

In the second part, we have another play on our perception. The shadows diving into the full moon could be from anything around: plants, trees, people, animals, etc. But not everything has to be spelled out in haiku. It’s often key to allow space for the reader to imagine a scene from their own experience and ideas so that they can participate in the poem.

With these two fantastical images, the poet merges the cosmos and the earthly. They interact with each other and the distance between them is bridged. I think this connects well with the Zen concept of non-dualism.

Looking at the technical aspects of this haiku, the ellipsis slows down the pace of the scene and hints at its peacefulness. The length of the lines is in standard fashion, connecting to the rhythm of traditional Japanese haiku. In terms of sound, the most interesting part is the two “f”s in the poem. It’s a heavy letter that seems to correlate well with the weight of an anchor, as noted in the haiku.

Full of intriguing imagery and plays of perception, this haiku makes for an enjoyable and mysterious read.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

I liked the opening line of this, where there is a sense of proximity and closeness. It puts my ongoing thoughts on a halt and I start exploring my deep connection with the deep water and its mysterious shades. I feel as if my thoughts are anchored for a short while and the sea becomes a subtle ground for anchoring myself to the moon.

It sounds meditative. The full moon is another reason for this mesmerism as the moonlight takes me deep into my profound inner self and I run my imagination wild where strings of the moonlight anchor my thoughts and feelings.

The ellipsis pauses our thoughts to fully absorb the feelings and to enjoy the imagery. The last part of this haiku is a shift from light to dark which seems more like yin-yang where there are comparisons and contrasts in feelings where one can see the moonlight clearly on water due to the shadows that define its boundaries.

The overall imagery of this haiku is subtle and surreal but it’s very well crafted with a fact that there’s a very deep connection between Earth, water, and celestial bodies and one can feel this deep connection with a peaceful mind. It’s definitely beyond seeing.

In terms of sound, the letter “o” creates an uninterrupted rhythm of mystic feelings where there’s no concept of time and space but a continuous cycle of an extraordinary experience.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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– Painting by Shoda Koho, “Moonlit Sea,” c. 1920

Goran Gatalica’s Night Loneliness

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

night loneliness —
a line of hoofprints
in the snow

– Goran Gatalica (Croatia)
The Mainichi, 3/9/2020

In loneliness, sometimes we feel empty yet alive at the same time. I think the poet wanted to express this by showing the image of a line of hoofprints in snow. As a reader, I’m imagining fairly fresh deer prints in snow. They are impressive in their emptiness, similar to how grand a lonely night can feel. Since the haiku mentions snow, it’s safe to assume this poem refers to winter. In this season, loneliness is even more acute. Winter loneliness can feel like a stamp on the mind like a hoofprint in snow.

In terms of the structure of the haiku, it has a standard rhythm of a short first line, a longer second line, and a short third line. The dash allows readers to have more time to let the feeling of loneliness soak in, plus it associated well with the word “line.”

For sound, the most prominent letter is “i” with “night,” “loneliness,” “line,” “hoofprints,” and “in.” Tn my eyes, this succession of sounds brings about a sense of starkness that is akin to winter loneliness.

All these elements point to a haiku rooted in feeling, season, and a connection between human nature and mother nature.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

This haiku contains all the mysteries of a night that we usually imagine when sitting near a fireplace. If we dig deeper into this haiku, I find a melancholic self who is desperately looking for some dawn light.

Night loneliness depicts the winter night when nothing prevails but deep silence. I feel the loneliness symbolizes both inner and outer conditions. So, we can interrelate our loneliness with the outer world where our thoughts and feelings are in sync with the environment.

A line of hoofprints may indicate the long but slow journey of a person’s life that is more static at the moment. These hoofprints are in the snow which indicates the intangible struggle of life where we have to use extra energies to wade through tough periods of life.

In terms of sound, the letter “o” here shows the endless cycle of struggle that a person goes through to survive.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

Hoof prints

Srinivas S. Chennai’s Evening Rain

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku1 Comment

silently
the gossip spreads
evening rain

– Srinivas S. Chennai (India)

(Haiku Presence, Issue 64)

We daily come across a lot of information that’s based on the individual perceptions and understandings of various realities and experiences spread all around us. This is the era of information and news where a small expression or thought may take less than a minute to spread like a fire.

In this haiku, the gossip silently spreads all over because of the sensitivity of its nature. I may take the gossip as part of certain taboos that need to be broken. This gossip might not be accepted by the masses but still finds its place among people. This gossip may be less important before it’s being spread but becomes significant once it gets highlighted.

Evening rain is barely noticed by many as everyone is quite busy or tired due to their daily life routines. But, evening rain can subtly bother our mind or feelings. So, there is a deep connection between the sound of evening rain that is almost invisible due to the darkness and gossip that still finds it worth among people before they go to sleep.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I like that this haiku can be read in two ways:

“silently the gossip spreads/evening rain”

or:

“silently the gossip spreads evening rain”

In the first way, the evening rain is being juxtaposed with gossip spreading silently. In the second version, the gossip is spreading evening rain. This is one of the joys of haiku, that a reader can pass through a haiku in various ways and arrive at myriad interpretations.

“evening rain” is not quite a kigo (seasonal reference) because every season can have evening rain in many areas of the world. However, with the poet residing in India, it might reflect the monsoon season. That’s why it’s important to know the context in which the poem is written to understand kigo.

Evening rain can be sometimes silent or loud to us. With all the events that have gone on during the day, our minds might be cluttered. With this buzzing mind, we might not be able to appreciate this sound of evening rain. However, there are times in the evening when we’re lonely and introspective when rain is a welcome sound to soothe our spirit. In this sense, “evening rain” might be either a comparison or contrast with the first part of the poem. It might also be associating each droplet as a piece of gossip.

The most prominent letter used in this haiku is “s,” and I believe there’s a reason for this. The poet might have wanted the “sss” clamor of rain reflected in the haiku. In the last line, the strong presence of “n” brings a serious tone and a sense of finality.

The structure of the haiku is standard with the rhythm of traditional Japanese haiku. The lack of punctuation gives rise to varied readings of this poem, which adds to its strength. A fine haiku written with an introspective mind.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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Evening rain

– Night Rain at Omiya, 1930 by Kawase Hasui (1883 – 1957)

Kala Ramesh’s thousand flutes

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku3 Comments

a thousand flutes
from the bamboo forest
summer’s end

– Kala Ramesh (India)
Published in Modern Haiku 48:1. Winter/spring 2017

This lovely haiku takes me back to the East where every single aspect of nature works rhythmically. I love the sound and sight of this haiku. It brought a smile on my face and pulled the strings of my heart.

A thousand flutes could mean a thousand folk stories, a thousand journeys, a thousand years, or a thousand seasons which unanimously take the writer back to those thousands of moments that she has spent throughout her life. These nostalgic feelings stir the current inertia where she is missing her past the most.

I can also feel the resonance of thoughts and feelings that are in great synchronization with nature and brings harmonious and peaceful waves of wind to sooth both the heart and mind. The flute is a great instrument for touching the core of the heart, especially when there is silence all around. So, I can feel the meditative mood of all aspects of nature, including the person that is connected through the rhythm of love and peace.

The summer’s end means, in my opinion, a transformation where one can relate to and reciprocate with the positive vibes that comes on the way. I feel as if the person has achieved the state of mind where she can listen to nature with its true colours and enjoy the songs of love and change.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

What I noticed first in this haiku is the pivot line. “from the bamboo forest” connects with the first and second line, so that the poem can be read in two ways.

The next thing that came to mind while reading this haiku is the song of the bamboo forest as wind passes through it. It is a wonderful and fitting tribute for the end of summer. Bamboo is light and the music it occasionally makes when wind goes through is soothing, which associates well with the mood of summer. For bamboo to make that sound, it would have to have holes in it or be cut, or perhaps the poet is speaking about people who made flutes from a bamboo grove and are now performing a ceremony or concert. But, I like the idea of spontaneous music from the forest more, as it makes the song for the end of summer even more poignant.

Commonly, the kigo, or seasonal reference, will appear in the first or second line of a haiku. But in this case, having the kigo come in the third line works well, as having the poem finish with the word “end” is fitting.

In terms of sound, the most prominent letters are “o,” “s,” and “f.” Hearing the “o” sounds bring about what is akin to the song of bamboo in wind. Perhaps the “f” and “s” sounds can reflect the music of bamboo leaves flitting in the wind.

The pacing of the lines is similar to the traditional rhythm of haiku and the lack of punctuation allows the pivot line to work its magic.

Though this haiku can be seen as melancholic, the song of the bamboo flutes gives it a sense of joy. It is a fine haiku with a deep mood and strong technical elements. It teaches us that there are extraordinary moments in what seems ordinary and that we should pay attention to our surroundings carefully to witness these special moments.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

oil-painting-stylized-photo-of-bamboo-forest-greir

– Stylized photograph by G. Greir

Chen-ou Liu’s First Firefly

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku3 Comments

first firefly
among the stars …
a child’s wish

– Chen-ou Liu (Canada)

When I was a child, I used to watch fireflies, considering them as a lucky charm. This haiku reminds me of my childhood memories associated with fireflies and I can relate to it.

A “first firefly” is a hope in the darkness that we want to have in our lives. The poet beautifully put two contrasting realities together.

One is stars we cannot touch and the other one is a firefly that we can touch and personally feel its existence. The firefly is more like a dream that comes true—a kind of wish that is fulfilled by feeling the existence of a firefly’s light that resembles starlight. One can also see the limitation of certain realities that are beyond our understanding and access but possible through imagination and adopting alternative approaches. A child enjoys his or her access to the stars through a firefly that takes him close to his imagination and fulfills the wish of touching stars.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

It is an ordinary experience but extraordinary at the same time. Seeing the flash of light from a firefly against a starry night sky is enchanting and mystical to witness. It makes us appreciate nature’s majesty more.

Usually, fireflies come out strong in the summer when they are looking for mates. So, the first firefly could be an indication of summer. The child does not know about fireflies’ mating seasons and his or her wish is based on one of beauty and wonder. It makes for an interesting dichotomy, though, of innocence and experience. However, the last line could be interpreted in two ways: it is the child’s wish to see a firefly with the stars, or that a firefly among stars is like a child’s wish.

As Hifsa mentioned, this haiku merges the earthly and the cosmic, each with its own light. Though the distance is substantially different, the circumference of light might be about the same from the view of a person. In this way, a star’s twinkle might as well be a star’s brilliance, and vice versa.

At a technical glance, we have alliteration in the first line that adds a musical sense to the haiku. The structure is standard and the ellipsis as a kireji works well. It gives a chance for the reader to slow down and imagine the wonderful scene. Each line comprises four syllables, which makes it compact like most well-written haiku (though the kireji would be counted in Japanese).

A haiku powered by enchanting imagery that gives readers more than something to imagine: it prompts us to see the connection between the mundane and the cosmic, and to appreciate the wonder of a child.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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Maria Chiara Miduri’s Wings

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku1 Comment

a crow feeds
tiny wings
while the bough floats

– Maria Chiara Miduri (Italy)
Wales Haiku Journal, Spring Issue, 2019

Haiku about crows always brings mystery to me. I start relating them to certain deep realities of life. A crow can symbolize intelligence, flexibility, and destiny in certain cultures, whilst bad luck and death in others. For me, a crow is a symbol of wisdom and survival that keeps on knocking on the doors of our mind and heart to awaken and understand the depth of life.

The tiny wings, as I understand, is the beginning of new life that needs energy and enthusiasm to keep going and to face the harsh realities of life.

In terms of the bough that floats on the water, I think it signifies the survival of the fittest in the tidal waves of life, but it is the crow that leads us to overcome our weaknesses and to handle it with strength and wisdom.

This haiku is the combination of nature and nurture where wisdom, realities, and trials are beautifully described with the help of the elements of nature.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

The first thing that struck me about this haiku is that it is written essentially as one part. Haiku often do not work well as one part, but there is a whole history of masterful haiku that do. In Japanese, these type of haiku are called “ichibutsu jitate” (物仕立て).

Because the imagery is so stark, the poem is carried by it and the resonance is strong. The care the mother crow is giving her chicks (“tiny wings”), while the wind or water tosses the bough that they are on, is extraordinary. It is a lesson in focus and concern. It also lends to the image of life’s precariousness and that at any moment, something can go wrong. But in the face of this, the mother crow supplies nourishment to her chicks.

Despite the haiku being one phrase, the line breaks allow readers to take in the image well. Also, the sound of the poem is rich with the letters w and o. I would say the “w” sounds supply a sense of lightness that is inherent in the imagery, whereas the “o” sounds slow down the scene for us and reflects being in awe of the moment that is captured in the haiku.

Overall, with a unique structure, stark imagery, and a fine sense of sound, this haiku conveys showing care through the obstacles of our lives.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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koson-ohara-crow-with-kaki-fruit-japanese-vintage-ukiyo-e-woodblock-painting-prints

– Painting by Koson Ohara

Martha Magenta’s mountain spring

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku2 Comments

mountain spring
the bottomless cup
of my hands

– Martha Magenta (UK)
Stardust Haiku, issue 30, June 2019

This post is a tribute to Martha Magenta, who has recently passed away this year. She was an award-winning poet, an integral member of the haiku community, and a person that mentored many aspiring poets. Please read her collected works on her blog.

The opening line of this brilliant haiku takes us to the refreshing sound of water that is flowing freely. The mountain spring creates mystical feelings of selflessness and focus. The bottomless cup is a bit of a twist in the story where both words are used to take the readers from the mountain spring to the self with empty hands. So, it’s all about giving not gathering, praying not begging, saying not asking.

I could relate this haiku to Sufi practices where cupped hands are supposed to be saying a prayer and connect with the almighty at the level where there is no desire for worldly needs. The subtle feelings of flowing water, mystical conditions, and the self make this haiku more profound with deeply personal experiences of meditation and self-discovery.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

Both the mountain spring and the poet’s hands seem infinite in their capacity. But, one is giving and one is receiving. However, it seems Martha felt the connection between her hands and the mountain spring while quenching her thirst. Maybe she felt that, like the flowing water, her hands could be a conduit for nourishment.

In terms of the season, I feel this is either spring or summer, when drinking from a mountain spring would be most satisfying.

Looking through a technical lens, the lines are paced in the traditional way English-language haiku are written: a short line, a long(ish) line, and then a short line again. No punctuation is given but I think none is needed in this poem. Martha also leaned towards a style of less punctuation.

Sound plays a significant part, as the “o”s, “n”s, “i”s, and “m”s all create a musical reading. In particular, the “n”s supply this haiku with a sense of dignity and eloquence.

This is one of many great haiku by Martha Magenta. I hope this post inspires readers to dive more into her work.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

mountain spring

Tia Nicole Haynes’ Promises

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Tanka3 Comments

another pear
rots in our fruit bowl
the promises
we choose
not to keep

– Tia Nicole Haynes (USA)
Published in Frameless Sky, 11

The pear could be symbolizing comfort and inner peace which one gets through the sweetness of life. This tanka perhaps revolves around the choices we make to get that inner peace.

So, another pear rotting in the fruit bowl means the circumstances and choices are not appropriate for gaining inner peace and comfort in life. We make certain promises in life to do things that bring happiness and peace in our lives–especially the ones where the focus of control is our inner self. But, due to certain circumstances, we are not able to carry out those promises we make with ourselves. That makes life so uncertain in many ways that we forget to taste the inner peace, as it gets spoiled and rotten by limited choices.

There is a continuous process of striving for inner peace, which is the ultimate goal of our lives and we really wish to keep things in line with our ultimate goal and make promises every year for it. But, life in certain ways puts us through trials and we forget that ultimate goal.

In terms of sound, the letter ‘o’ could indicate the life cycle that makes us deal with different matters of life but also forgetting the ultimate goal.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

This tanka contains a comparison: the promises we choose not to keep are like another pear rotting in our fruit bowl. They are visible, the stench is clear, yet we decide not to abide by our word. This is a part of human nature. Though promises that are left behind stare us in the face, we somehow have the will to let them go sometimes.

The degradation of a pear is an apt symbol: they are sweet but easily bruise and go rotten, just like promises.

Like Hifsa, I enjoyed the “o” sounds in this tanka. I also thought the “r” sounds lend to a serious tone. Additionally in the technical vein, the poet is highly efficient with her words and allows each line to breath in its simplicity and power.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

If you enjoyed this tanka and commentary, please leave a comment.

Terry-Wise-2018-Pear-on-Handmade-Bowl-24-x-28-orig-web

Painting by Terry Wise

Carmela Marino’s Closed Eyes

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku2 Comments

closed eyes . . .
a star has fallen
somewhere

– Carmela Marino (Italy)
Published on Haikuniverse

I wish I could see a whole image like this with closed eyes. Closed eyes mean to see the world through the third eye and to feel it deeply. Also, a falling star is a kind of hope and a bond with the universe that anyone can feel anywhere with a specific state of mind.

So, this is connectivity through imagination, meditation, and deep thinking to wish, pray, and ask for what we really want in our lives.

The word ‘somewhere’ depicts the concept of wholeness, where the poet, as a tiny part of this universe, wishes to see that falling star through her third eye. In a way, this is beyond wishes, where someone wants to get connected with celestial bodies by creating a harmonious and deep understanding of this world.

Words like closed, fallen, and somewhere are abstract in this haiku yet leave great room for a deep understanding of this unlimited universe and our unexplored inner world.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I believe this can be taken in at least two ways: a) it notes how each second, something magical or majestic happens in our universe b) when we are not looking, many amazing things happen. In the context of the second option, the poet might have missed a chance to make a wish upon a shooting star. However, the poet realized that stars could be falling at any moment throughout the universe and that one can make a sacred wish at any time.

Sonically, the most prominent sound comes from the string of “s.” One can imagine the hissing sound of a falling star by the reading of this haiku. Also, the “l”s work to make this poem more musical and pleasing.

I enjoy the use of the ellipsis to show how long the poet or the narrator closed their eyes. It also gives the reader time to let this action sink in.

This is a haiku that is at once imaginative and realistic.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

If you enjoyed this haiku and commentary, please leave us a comment.

IMG_9856

Painting by Rick Beerhorst

Hemapriya Chellappan’s Monsoon Yoga

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku, Senryu9 Comments

monsoon yoga
here and there
a housefly

Hemapriya Chellappan (India)
Failed Haiku, journal of senryu, issue 45, Sept 2019

I’ve been in India during the monsoon season, and I can say how exciting and intense it is to see the rain crash down on the streets. All the commotion is compared to a housefly buzzing around here and there. Something epic and something small in aesthetic unison. Also, it contrasts the calmness of doing yoga. So, you can say we got a strong juxtaposition in this senryu/haiku–and a touch of humor.

Technically, it’s easy to spot the string of “o”s in the poem. It stretches the pace of the reading, slowing us down like yoga. Plus, we got some “r”s and “h”s to make it more musical. In terms of the structure and wording, it’s an efficient senryu/haiku–not wasting a word.

Great imagery, a fine juxtaposition, and a keen sense of sound make this poem an enjoyable read.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky  (USA)

The monsoon season is a time of yearning and transformation where many views outside and inside get refreshed and soil absorbs a lot of stories of the mourning sky. The sound of rain, petrichor, and new views bring original perspectives to life–and if we shift our focus from our world to the inner world, as in yoga and meditation, we find it very soothing, as there is a direct and deep connection between a monsoon and yoga. The spirit of this haiku revolves around the aspects that make our lives toxic due to a lot of reasons and activities that affect us mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

In terms of the housefly, I believe it is a metaphor that describes the dirt and filth around us. So, when it comes to a monsoon, all that filth comes to the surface and makes the environment more chaotic and toxic. A housefly can also represent the disturbing thoughts that keep us restless and dissatisfied daily. So, it is a monsoon that makes things obvious for us so that we can concentrate on our inner world and find out the best possible solutions to the chaos around and inside us.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

If you enjoyed the haiku and commentary, please leave us a comment. 

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Painting by Iruvan Karunakaran called Charminar Wet