Martin Gottlieb Cohen’s bed wrinkles

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku10 Comments

between the bed wrinkles winter shadows

— Martin Gottlieb Cohen (USA)
Previously published in Shamrock Haiku Journal, Issue 27, 2014

Like most one-line haiku in English (Japanese haiku are almost always written in one vertical line), this can be read in several ways. Readers will probably parse it as:

between the bed wrinkles/winter shadows

But there is also:

between the bed/wrinkles/winter shadows

and:

between the bed wrinkles/winter/shadows

…which all have different flavors. But for this commentary, I will speak about “between the bed wrinkles/winter shadows.”

A bed is an intimate place where we sleep, rest, read a book, watch TV, work on our computer, reproduce, or just daydream. So, having winter shadows tucked away in one’s bed wrinkles seems to be an addition to that intimacy. It is a connection between the natural and human world. When we read this haiku, we feel as if nature is never far away, even when we least expect it.

The imagery, though, is more than just a connection. It conveys a mood. “winter shadows” is a kigo or seasonal reference. When we think of winter shadows, we think of loneliness and reflection. In this context, the poet might be expressing his solitary nature at the time of this being written. However, this loneliness is accompanied by a companion: winter shadows. So, this poem may simultaneously express both loneliness and companionship.

Let’s take a look at the sounds of the haiku. We have two cases of alliteration with “between/bed” and “wrinkles/winter.” I feel the first case allows us to read the phrase more smoothly, while the second case makes us read it more disjointedly. This allows us to see the break in parts of this haiku.

Overall, I enjoy the expression of both loneliness and companionship in succinct imagery, helped powerfully by a kigo.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

Darkness, shadows, and bed wrinkles—these three aspects can make a night more mysterious. For a moment, this haiku took me back to the time when I used to read mystery novels, which gave me an impetus to read the whole story in one sitting.

The word ‘between’ shows a transition. It also activates our thinking where we immediately start trying to figure out what is happening in the poem. It encourages us to shift our attention to the rest of the poem.

‘bed wrinkles’ is a phrase that can be interpreted in many ways. It shows restlessness, sleeplessness, memories, ageing, nightmares, loneliness, chaos, fatigue, and other physical or mental aspects that make a person change their position while lying down on a bed. It also connects to how life becomes complicated, even when someone tries to take a rest after the long and tiring journey of life. Bed wrinkles shape up like waves, labyrinths, and circles.

Winter shadows reveal the mystery that starts with the word ‘between’. These shadows are deep and dark, which are vivid and influential in many ways. Metaphorically, these shadows relate to traumatic events that cause restlessness and sleeplessness. Mostly, shadows never leave a person, whether of their own or of surroundings. In this monoku, it can be the combination of all types of shadows that collectively disturb the body and soul of a person that overshadows the peace of the night.

This profound monoku depicts the wholeness of life where both the inner and outer world of a person is in a constant flow, which builds the momentum from one reality to another, from one element to another, and makes life more sophisticated in many ways. I feel as if the transformation of one’s thoughts and feelings is inversely proportional to cosmic matters and the environment. That is why the scene ends on a dreamless night.  

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

— Painting by Vincent van Gogh

Srinivas S’s fog

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

winter night
the fog thickens around
a long lullaby

— Srinivas S (India)
(Published in Under the Basho, Modern Haiku Section, 2020)

The silence and darkness of a winter night imply deep feelings on the surface. Also, memories arise that associate with silence and darkness.

In this haiku, the poet is reminiscing about and missing someone—most probably a child who is no more with him. The poet is probably a parent who is sharing his remorseful feelings with the winter night which is reflecting them through silence, fog, and darkness.

The fog thickening is projected mysteriously in this haiku but it shows the depth of loss that one feels deep inside. It can also mean the desire to forget traumatic memories. This can happen when a person sings a long lullaby and gets lost into the past which is getting vague with time and darkness.

The long lullaby also shows the intensity of grief and pain that one bears on a cold night but cannot retain anymore. So, the winter night provides a platform for catharsis and to sing a long lullaby that is heard by no one but the person himself.

I also feel the manifestation of the poet’s childhood in this haiku, where he feels nostalgic and remembers his childhood which had deprivations.

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

The first aspect of this haiku that I saw was the association between a winter night and a fog becoming stronger during a lullaby. Nights in winter can be lonely and depressing. The act of a fog thickening while a lullaby is being sung makes it seem like the song itself is being diluted.

Another way to look at it is that the fog becoming thicker is similar to a long lullaby: you get immersed into the melody and get into the “thick” of feeling drowsy. Drowsiness is sometimes referred to as being in a state of fog.

We can also think of the fog coming to listen to the lullaby. In this sense, there is personification in this poem.

The atmosphere of the haiku is at once cozy and melancholic. It is also a bit mysterious, as the phrasing does not give a direct hint about whether the lullaby is being sung outside or inside.

The format of the lines is standard for English-language haiku. A punctuation mark, like a dash or ellipsis, could have been added after the first line to separate the parts of the haiku. However, it is not needed.

The letter “i” is prominent in the first two lines, which illustrates the starkness of the moment. The last line is dominated by “l” sounds, which provide the mood of a lull that a lullaby gives.

This haiku elicits multiple interpretations. This is a sign of a strong haiku. Multi-dimensional poems often create more layers and more resonance.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

— Painting by Shuncho

Barnabas I. Adeleke’s muezzin’s call

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku, SenryuLeave a comment

muezzin’s call . . .
Santa Claus steps aside
to make ablutions

— Barnabas I. Adeleke (Nigeria)
(previously published in Frogpond, 43.2) 

There are a few haiku that beautifully reflect interfaith harmony and show reverence and respect for every faith. This haiku is one of them.

The muezzin’s call to prayer is not only the call for prayer but also a message of peace for all those who are on the right path. The path that leads to serve humanity and make this world a better place. The writer beautifully blends two faiths based on the common grounds that are reflected in this haiku.

Santa Claus stepping aside is a gesture of reverence and respect not for other faiths but his own. It seems the Santa Claus in this case is a Muslim who took a break for offering a prayer, or it is a metaphor based on the actions a Santa Claus performs that brings happiness to others’ lives during the time of Christmas by distributing presents.

Ablution depicts the purification of the body before one offers a prayer. It is another way to clean one’s self and then serve others. The blend of beliefs and actions are interwoven beautifully in this haiku. It displays religious harmony in a true sense.

The muezzin’s call makes a person purify their body and soul before serving others. It’s an awakening call for all those who believe in peace, prosperity, and happiness.

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

Most haiku are based on a season. The mention of Santa Claus sets this haiku firmly in winter and specifically at the time of Christmas. This could be said to be a senryu as well, which usually examines human life and cuts into it with satire, commentary, and societal backlash. 

In the spirit of giving, it seems like the Muslim man who is dressed up as Santa Claus for an event takes a moment out of his work to pray. I feel this is symbolic of how Christmas has turned into less of a Christian tradition and more of a universal holiday that focuses on giving and receiving gifts generously. In the moment described, the man who pretends to be Santa Claus gives a gift to himself: a moment of peace. He also surrenders himself to God, which can be seen as a gift as well. 

There is nothing hypocritical with a Muslim man portraying Santa Claus, by the way. Though Saint Nicholas was a Christian and is the inspiration for the myth of Santa, Islam and Christianity both puts importance on charity. As a side note, Jesus is discussed over 100 times in the Quran. And surprisingly, Mother Mary is mentioned more in the Quran than in both of the Christian testaments.

One way to look at this haiku is that despite acting a part for work, we should never forget who we are and our foundation. The act in the haiku also calls to mind the humbleness and faith one should have as a religious or spiritual person.

In terms of technical aspects, we can see that this was written in the standard format for English-language haiku. In addition, the sound of this poem can be noted in the use of the letters “u,” “s,” and “c.” In each line, “u” is employed, which slows down the reading of this haiku. This allows the reader to imagine the scene better and to feel the calm of prayer.

It is a haiku or senryu that is at once humorous and profound, speaking to interfaith beliefs and the weaving of cultures.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

egypt3_1650223c