Jay Friedenberg’s soap bubble

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

children’s laughter
the iridescent sheen
of a soap bubble

— Jay Friedenberg (USA)

There is a mixture of emotions that can be found in this haiku. You have children’s laughter and brightness, which are associated with happiness and positivity. However, the mention of a soap bubble supplies an added perspective. The ethereal nature of a soap bubble lends to thoughts of sadness and the limits innocence’s longevity.

This relates to the Japanese aesthetic of “fūryū” which can be described as transitory beauty. Bath time for children is usually playful and memorable. But as an adult, when we see our children enjoying this moment, we may view it with a more introspective eye. We might take note of the transitory nature of childhood innocence and become nostalgic for simpler times.

The word “iridescent” is also important in this haiku. It refers to degrees of luminescence from different angles, and this might point to the fact that the poet is seeing this particular moment from a new view.

There is no kigo, or seasonal reference, mentioned in this haiku, but I would place it in spring. The laughter and joy mixed with melancholic introspection seem appropriate with this season.

Getting more into the technical aspects of this haiku, I think the poet did right by not adding punctuation as a “cutting word” or kireji in the first line. It would have made the first line too long, in my opinion. The length of the lines is standard for English-language haiku, which does its best to follow the go-shichi-go rhythm of Japanese haiku. Also, there is a plenitude of “l”s, “i”s, and “s”s in this poem. Not only does it make it musical, but it adds to the happy but stark nature of this haiku.

Friedenberg, through this poem, has given readers a chance to reflect on their childhood years and to cherish the joy they might have lost. Possibly, this haiku might prompt readers to integrate some of their innocent nature back into their lives. Sometimes we need reminders that life doesn’t always have to be serious. It can be fun and silly, and we can derive happiness from the smallest of things.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

This beautiful and colorful haiku took me back to my childhood. I started reminiscing about this time of joy and happiness. I can relate to the deep and subtle feelings embedded in the imagery of this haiku that echo back, which creates a soothing impact on the reader’s memory.

In terms of the senses, I can divide this haiku into three parts:

– Line 1 is about hearing children’s laughter

– Line 2 is about seeing the iridescent sheen

– Line 3 could be about touching the soap bubble

Children’s laughter—the sound of a carefree life that starts from our childhood when there is little-to-no sense of responsibility or worldly possessions. The sound of children’s laughter is quite soothing as it has a great impact on the psyche of not only children but also the people who surround them. I take it as laughter therapy that we rarely experience these days but still want to be a part of. Our inner child misses these moments and sometimes, we seek solace in reminiscing about those happy moments that still strike our eardrums softly and make us smile.

The iridescent sheen depicts rainbow colors, the colors of life, and happiness, which connects to laughter. This shows the ‘wholeness’ of life where various colors impact our ‘aura’ and make it beautiful and positive. The sheen is the glow that subtly and miraculously brings light to life, especially in the form of elation and utmost joy. The iridescent sheen also presents hope and positivity in life which helps us to focus on small moments of happiness and the blessings we miss or ignore.

A soap bubble here shows how short our childhood bliss lasts. It also indicates the delicacy and subtlety of moments that we enjoy with our loved ones that unfortunately has a short duration.

Looking at the haiku at a more granular level, as Nicholas said, there are no ellipses in the first line. This makes this poem more open for interpretation and more flexible for enjoying the positive energy that the poet beautifully weaved into it.

To me, this haiku is about gathering our childhood memories related to hearing, seeing, and touching. I loved the way the poet magnified the micro-elements of innocence and positivity, which turned it into a life lesson.

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

soap bubble painting

— Painting by Vandy Massey

Francesco Palladino’s lockdown

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku1 Comment

lockdown
in the flight of a seagull
a little sea

— Francesco Palladino (Italy)

The current lockdown has changed our lives so much. We see new dimensions or unique perspectives often. This may be due to shifting from one normal to another which is original and profound in many ways.

In this haiku, the writer finds a subtle yet vivid moment where he feels the delicacy of existence in a beautiful way. The flight of a seagull seems to indicate a set direction in life or set objectives that one has planned before or during the current pandemic. It can also mean that the person has gained maximum mindfulness, where he accomplished his objectives or has had profound learning experiences. The ‘little sea’ to me shows a level of knowledge that is vast and/or an abundance of knowledge due to clear thoughts.

The other aspect of this haiku may be contrary to the above. Maybe, the lockdown and the self-isolation has disturbed the thought process of the narrator, where he lives in an imaginary world and finds his objectives merely an illusion or daydream about them instead of fulfilling them. The ‘little sea’ may be a mirage that comes our way during our daily routine and we seek solace in it until the lockdown is over.

Looking at the sound, the letter ‘l’ shows the stiffness or persistence of a thought process occurring during a lockdown.

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

What I enjoyed immediately about this haiku is the pivot in the second line. It can refer to both the first and last lines. In a poem as small as a haiku, this is a powerful technique that creates more layers.
Thus, you can read it as:

1) lockdown in the flight of a seagull/a little sea

or:

2) lockdown/in the flight of a seagull a little sea

The first version is saying that the poet sees the lockdown in the flight of a seagull and he is comparing it to a little sea. The second version is giving the idea that a lockdown is like a little sea, which the flight of a seagull can show.

Both point to a similar theme, in my opinion: within the seagull, and perhaps within all of us, is a sense of isolation but also a grandness. This mix of feelings reflects in the autumn kigo of a seagull (though seagulls can ultimately refer to almost all seasons).

It is interesting to note the use of articles. Employing “the” with “flight” puts a focus on the act of the bird rather than the creature itself. It gives readers something to nibble on in terms of freedom/containment. In this time of quarantine, we struggle to have even basic freedoms.

“a little sea” could be metaphorical but also physical. The seagull could still be wet from a dive or some seaweed could be clinging to its wings while in flight.

As Hifsa noted, the “l” sounds in this haiku work well. I have a bit of a different take, though. I feel this letter in the poem provides a sense of the seagull lilting on the wind, free and at ease.

It seems Palladino is espousing the concept that freedom is present even when we are in a lockdown or have our movement restricted. That we should find inner joy even when our environment becomes demarcated.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

s-l1600

— “Three Seagulls” by Ohara Koson 1900–1936

Haiku about “dust”

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku9 Comments

Haiku Commentary had a prompt challenge on Twitter that revolved around the theme of “dust.” Here are our favorite submissions and commentary on them. 

rising dust . . .
the old argument
resettled

— Marion Clarke (Ireland)

The opening line of this haiku alludes to the visibility, progress, and movement of something very intangible and subtle. ‘Dust’ may reflect resilience, hope, positivity, strength, or life. When a person moves on in life with all these characteristics, they find it easier to understand certain realities of life and their underlying meanings.

When we look back into the past, old arguments look vague and meaningless. We hold fast to our points of view over the years and ruin relationships because our state of mind doesn’t accept them or see through them for a better reflection of the causes of those arguments.

The resettling of arguments means a new perspective on past disagreements or the reasons behind those arguments that bring more understanding of life.

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

Haiku often showcase two slices of life that contrast in a unique and meaningful way. Here we have the action of rising and resettling juxtaposed, written in a way that can be taken both mundanely and metaphorically.  We can easily imagine by reading this haiku that an argument has settled on an imaginary ground and dust rising from its impact of touching the earth.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

my childhood memories
a cloud
of chalk dust

— Paul David Mena (USA)

Childhood memories always remain with us no matter how old we are or how hard it is to get through our lives. We always cherish those memories no matter how bittersweet they are. Those flashbacks of the past look like a cloud of chalk dust that we enjoy for a moment and then get back to our routine lives. This also means that vivid memories are fading away either due to life experiences of both childhood or present or due to ageing. In any case, if words have been erased, only chalk dust remains for a short while. A cloud also shows fading memories or forgetting, where a person loses the details of childhood memories and has only short glimpses of their childhood.

The word ‘my’ depicts the personal experiences of the poet where he finds it hard to remember those memories. The letter ‘c’ in this haiku displays the half circle of those memories that result in mere images or glimpses from childhood without having any significant details.

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I have written plenty of haiku on childhood memories and can say that it is quite difficult to do so. Mena has composed one with power and brevity in a seemingly effortless fashion (the trick is to make it look effortless when it is not). “Chalk dust” has many implications, as it pertains to education, writing, purity, innocence, and possibly more.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

dust on your photos
the last fragments of you
that remain

— Shane Pruett (USA)

While the poet is looking at photos of a beloved of his, there remain parts of this person that are still technically alive on the pictures: the individual’s dust. This brings about an extra layer of sadness because even though a part of this person is still with the poet, it is a part that is non sentient and cannot interact with him. This haiku might reflect the Japanese aesthetic of mono no aware (物の哀れ), which is about the pathos and transience of things, and that sometimes brings about beauty in melancholy.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

There are certain memories in life that we want to forget but cannot as they leave deep imprints on our minds and hearts. But still, time is considered as the best healer. So, the memories of loved ones remain as mere dust.

Specks of dust on photos, metaphorical flashbacks, or vivid memories are fading away or not getting the importance they deserve. This may be due to a change in priorities or other perspectives of life or ageing when someone cannot remember certain things of the past or ignore them.

In this haiku, ‘last fragments’ show the loosening of memories that the narrator once held dear. These fragments are dust, which also shows the annihilation of memories.
Ultimately, this haiku speaks about the transformation of a relationship from a tangible personal touch to the intangible thoughts and memories that later fizzle out in the dust of time.

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

an attic window sill
a wasp curls
into its own dust

— Alan Summers (England)
Haiku of Merit: Ginko & Kukai event with Professor Hoshino Tsunehiko (1997)
Pub. Yomiuri Shimbun Go-Shichi-Go On-Line Language Lab (Japan, 2005)

An attic window sill is a place where many creatures yearn for their dreams and rest for a moment or two and then fly away. An attic window may be a reflection of memories where a person finds themselves close to their inner self and feel protected.

The analogy of a wasp who curls into its dust may indicate the protection that we acquire after time. When we relate this to human life, our experiences reshape our potential and abilities where we can transcend and transform with time. The connection between ‘attic’ and ‘dust’ shows the stages of maturity that we gain phase by phase and eventually gain the maturity level where the outcomes of those experiences become our strength and protect us from an unseen future. ‘Dust’ may also reflect the annihilation where a person bends down due to either ageing or the brunt of the past that they bury under the dust of time or death.

The articles ‘an’ and ‘a’ project the individual experiences of a person that are more subtle but profound. The letter ‘w’, I feel, gives a sense of the ups and downs in life that reshape our intellect and bring ultimate maturity until death.

— Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

To me, the act of the wasp curling into its own dust is representative of an attic itself: self-contained, enclosed, and a place of possible loneliness. The wasp being at the windowsill adds more to the pathos of this haiku, as it indicates that the wasp wished to leave the stuffy attic for its free life outside. It brings into question humanity’s relationship with nature and makes us think about how we can live in more synchronicity with the natural world.

— Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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— “Dust Haze” by Steffie Wallace