Srinivas S. Chennai’s Evening Rain

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku1 Comment

silently
the gossip spreads
evening rain

– Srinivas S. Chennai (India)

(Haiku Presence, Issue 64)

We daily come across a lot of information that’s based on the individual perceptions and understandings of various realities and experiences spread all around us. This is the era of information and news where a small expression or thought may take less than a minute to spread like a fire.

In this haiku, the gossip silently spreads all over because of the sensitivity of its nature. I may take the gossip as part of certain taboos that need to be broken. This gossip might not be accepted by the masses but still finds its place among people. This gossip may be less important before it’s being spread but becomes significant once it gets highlighted.

Evening rain is barely noticed by many as everyone is quite busy or tired due to their daily life routines. But, evening rain can subtly bother our mind or feelings. So, there is a deep connection between the sound of evening rain that is almost invisible due to the darkness and gossip that still finds it worth among people before they go to sleep.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I like that this haiku can be read in two ways:

“silently the gossip spreads/evening rain”

or:

“silently the gossip spreads evening rain”

In the first way, the evening rain is being juxtaposed with gossip spreading silently. In the second version, the gossip is spreading evening rain. This is one of the joys of haiku, that a reader can pass through a haiku in various ways and arrive at myriad interpretations.

“evening rain” is not quite a kigo (seasonal reference) because every season can have evening rain in many areas of the world. However, with the poet residing in India, it might reflect the monsoon season. That’s why it’s important to know the context in which the poem is written to understand kigo.

Evening rain can be sometimes silent or loud to us. With all the events that have gone on during the day, our minds might be cluttered. With this buzzing mind, we might not be able to appreciate this sound of evening rain. However, there are times in the evening when we’re lonely and introspective when rain is a welcome sound to soothe our spirit. In this sense, “evening rain” might be either a comparison or contrast with the first part of the poem. It might also be associating each droplet as a piece of gossip.

The most prominent letter used in this haiku is “s,” and I believe there’s a reason for this. The poet might have wanted the “sss” clamor of rain reflected in the haiku. In the last line, the strong presence of “n” brings a serious tone and a sense of finality.

The structure of the haiku is standard with the rhythm of traditional Japanese haiku. The lack of punctuation gives rise to varied readings of this poem, which adds to its strength. A fine haiku written with an introspective mind.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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Evening rain

– Night Rain at Omiya, 1930 by Kawase Hasui (1883 – 1957)

Kala Ramesh’s thousand flutes

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku3 Comments

a thousand flutes
from the bamboo forest
summer’s end

– Kala Ramesh (India)
Published in Modern Haiku 48:1. Winter/spring 2017

This lovely haiku takes me back to the East where every single aspect of nature works rhythmically. I love the sound and sight of this haiku. It brought a smile on my face and pulled the strings of my heart.

A thousand flutes could mean a thousand folk stories, a thousand journeys, a thousand years, or a thousand seasons which unanimously take the writer back to those thousands of moments that she has spent throughout her life. These nostalgic feelings stir the current inertia where she is missing her past the most.

I can also feel the resonance of thoughts and feelings that are in great synchronization with nature and brings harmonious and peaceful waves of wind to sooth both the heart and mind. The flute is a great instrument for touching the core of the heart, especially when there is silence all around. So, I can feel the meditative mood of all aspects of nature, including the person that is connected through the rhythm of love and peace.

The summer’s end means, in my opinion, a transformation where one can relate to and reciprocate with the positive vibes that comes on the way. I feel as if the person has achieved the state of mind where she can listen to nature with its true colours and enjoy the songs of love and change.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

What I noticed first in this haiku is the pivot line. “from the bamboo forest” connects with the first and second line, so that the poem can be read in two ways.

The next thing that came to mind while reading this haiku is the song of the bamboo forest as wind passes through it. It is a wonderful and fitting tribute for the end of summer. Bamboo is light and the music it occasionally makes when wind goes through is soothing, which associates well with the mood of summer. For bamboo to make that sound, it would have to have holes in it or be cut, or perhaps the poet is speaking about people who made flutes from a bamboo grove and are now performing a ceremony or concert. But, I like the idea of spontaneous music from the forest more, as it makes the song for the end of summer even more poignant.

Commonly, the kigo, or seasonal reference, will appear in the first or second line of a haiku. But in this case, having the kigo come in the third line works well, as having the poem finish with the word “end” is fitting.

In terms of sound, the most prominent letters are “o,” “s,” and “f.” Hearing the “o” sounds bring about what is akin to the song of bamboo in wind. Perhaps the “f” and “s” sounds can reflect the music of bamboo leaves flitting in the wind.

The pacing of the lines is similar to the traditional rhythm of haiku and the lack of punctuation allows the pivot line to work its magic.

Though this haiku can be seen as melancholic, the song of the bamboo flutes gives it a sense of joy. It is a fine haiku with a deep mood and strong technical elements. It teaches us that there are extraordinary moments in what seems ordinary and that we should pay attention to our surroundings carefully to witness these special moments.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

oil-painting-stylized-photo-of-bamboo-forest-greir

– Stylized photograph by G. Greir

Chen-ou Liu’s First Firefly

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku3 Comments

first firefly
among the stars …
a child’s wish

– Chen-ou Liu (Canada)

When I was a child, I used to watch fireflies, considering them as a lucky charm. This haiku reminds me of my childhood memories associated with fireflies and I can relate to it.

A “first firefly” is a hope in the darkness that we want to have in our lives. The poet beautifully put two contrasting realities together.

One is stars we cannot touch and the other one is a firefly that we can touch and personally feel its existence. The firefly is more like a dream that comes true—a kind of wish that is fulfilled by feeling the existence of a firefly’s light that resembles starlight. One can also see the limitation of certain realities that are beyond our understanding and access but possible through imagination and adopting alternative approaches. A child enjoys his or her access to the stars through a firefly that takes him close to his imagination and fulfills the wish of touching stars.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

It is an ordinary experience but extraordinary at the same time. Seeing the flash of light from a firefly against a starry night sky is enchanting and mystical to witness. It makes us appreciate nature’s majesty more.

Usually, fireflies come out strong in the summer when they are looking for mates. So, the first firefly could be an indication of summer. The child does not know about fireflies’ mating seasons and his or her wish is based on one of beauty and wonder. It makes for an interesting dichotomy, though, of innocence and experience. However, the last line could be interpreted in two ways: it is the child’s wish to see a firefly with the stars, or that a firefly among stars is like a child’s wish.

As Hifsa mentioned, this haiku merges the earthly and the cosmic, each with its own light. Though the distance is substantially different, the circumference of light might be about the same from the view of a person. In this way, a star’s twinkle might as well be a star’s brilliance, and vice versa.

At a technical glance, we have alliteration in the first line that adds a musical sense to the haiku. The structure is standard and the ellipsis as a kireji works well. It gives a chance for the reader to slow down and imagine the wonderful scene. Each line comprises four syllables, which makes it compact like most well-written haiku (though the kireji would be counted in Japanese).

A haiku powered by enchanting imagery that gives readers more than something to imagine: it prompts us to see the connection between the mundane and the cosmic, and to appreciate the wonder of a child.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

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