starlight
my baby’s last day
within me

© Tia Nicole Haynes (USA)
Incense Dreams 2.2, 2018

When I read this haiku, I could not understand it completely. I felt it was missing something. However, I saw that it has two possible interpretations for me:

1. The first scenario is of a mother who has decided upon getting an abortion. In spiritual traditions, the soul can neither be created nor destroyed. Physical bodies are merely vessels to contain it. Maybe the mother thinks after the abortion, though her baby ceases to exist within her, her soul will still exist as eternal as starlight. It may be a consolation to her—a way to assuage her guilt over the decision.

The second scenario is something like this: it is the day of her child’s birth but the mother is fearful of bringing her child into the brutal, unforgiving world. But there is nothing she can do except surrender. She believes conscious intelligence, which is responsible for starlight, will take care of her baby too.

This haiku is haunting. It lingers in the mind long after you’ve read it.

– Pragya Vishnoi (India)

A haiku of extreme simplicity, where every superfluous word has
been eliminated, until reaching the harmony of a well-calibrated synthesis. A scene of great silence and contemplation, in which a mother deeply feels the completeness of having within herself an essential part to which she will have to give up. Ephemeral completeness of which the cold light of the stars, in their apparent immutability, acts as a counterpoint.

I am not here to ask myself why this mother already knows that tomorrow her child will no longer be with her. Perhaps she will have a planned birth. Perhaps she has decided not to let him or her be born—a very painful hypothesis that cannot be excluded.

I want to see it as a programmed birth and read this mother as a person that from one thing that is now forming a creature that is about to divide with a psychologically and physically important laceration. Many years have passed since the birth of my daughters, but I remember the sense of emptiness and above all the physical experiences in the following days … I had to let go of a part of my body in a certain sense.

I sometimes try to remember that feeling of total well-being that gave me the feeling of having a moving creature inside me, and I try to remember it with the sensations of the body, not with the reminiscences of the mind.
The key of this haiku is in the “within me” that closes the poem: so important, so well chosen, so firm even in its sound.

– Margherita Petriccione (Italy)

A beautiful haiku that shows a deep connection between a mother and her child. The vast imagery of the universe and its deep connection with a womb is profoundly depicted in this exquisite poem where both outer and inner universes connect through subtle feelings and the imaginative portrayal of motherhood.

The starlight beautifies the space with its soft and gentle light that spreads all over the universe. It looks more like a blanket of sparkling dots that tickles one’s imagination. The mother imagines the same starlight inside her as her baby is close to her and he or she signifies the whole universe that glorifies her motherhood and the inner world. The last day is the celebration of the most beautiful creation of the world: a child. Only a mother can feel and see the whole universe celebrating it with her. The starlight may symbolize the firework that sparkles in her thoughts and feelings due to this jubilant arrival of her baby.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

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– Painting by Vincent van Gogh

winter solstice
i walk the labyrinth
of my mind

– Michael Morell (USA)

This poignant and deep haiku reflects the melancholic feelings of a person who is reminiscing about his past and/or battling circumstances where he is indecisive. The opening line ‘winter solstice’ gives strong feelings of the darkness or shortness of life, where a person is having gloomy experiences. Winter solstice also may indicate the colorless life or annihilation.

The poet who walks through the labyrinth of the mind could be passing through deeper-self-oriented experiences, trying to analyze every aspect of his life by getting involved in his thought process. The mind here may indicate memories that sound traumatic and that create obscure feelings. The labyrinth could be a curiosity, guilt, or conscience that persuades the person to go deeper into the core of those thoughts and memories that take him to the verge of nowhere.

The walk during the winter solstice reflects the fog around him, where he, both within and outside, wants to see the other side of the fog. This may also be a therapeutic and introspective experience that brings the person close to his essence by critically analyzing his thoughts and feelings.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I enjoy that the connection between the two parts of the haiku is multifaceted. Since a winter solstice occurs in mid-winter, it can easily be correlated to the feeling of someone traversing the labyrinth of one’s mind. In this condition, you can feel stuck and lonely, and maybe lost. A winter solstice also points to the shortest day of the year. Though the mind is more of an abstract, microscopic universe, it can easily become a contorted maze. Also, it is great how the mood of the poem is greatly enhanced by the juxtaposition.

In terms of sound, I noticed the “w” letters quick. They give a sense of strength and slow down the pace a bit, which is fitting for the imagery. Also running through the haiku is the letter “i,” which makes the reading sharp and possibly cold (reflecting the season). Also, the lack of punctuation works well and the lowercase “i” fits in just fine. It diminishes the attention on the poet himself and more on the experience being written about. Lastly, I just want to say how wonderful it is to have the word “labyrinth” in a haiku. It is a rare word in this genre and hard to use. The poet has employed it in a great way, in my opinion.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

Did you enjoy this haiku and the commentary? If so, please let us know in the comments.

– The Light Returns by Karen Whitworth

moonbow . . .
in a grain of wheat
a farmer’s song

© Sandip Chauhan (USA)

2nd Place, 2014 International Matsuo Basho Award for Haiku Poetry

This haiku starts with subtle feelings. The writer takes us to the world where serenity tickles all the elements of nature. Watching a moonbow itself brings delightful feelings with the deepest effects. The arc of the moonbow reflects the mesmerizing impact of beautiful things around us that bring blessings in our lives. It also is a kind of celebration and/or reward for the hard work one has done in the field.

In a farmer’s life, the only thing that can bring true blessings and happiness is a golden crop that manifests his or her wishes to fulfill his or her desires. A grain of wheat symbolizes prosperity and wealth, where every grain is full of life. No one else can understand this better than a farmer who has given his or her days and nights to bring golden grains to their final stage, when they are called a treasure of life. The farmer’s song on the harvest day indicates that harmony and genuineness of things that complement each other. The moonbow in the sky, the grains in the field, the song a farmer sings as a whole, displaying a perfect picture of the ideal harvest day.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

A moonbow is reminiscent of the moonlight on a sickle when, in my country, the wheat is harvested in the light of the full moon so as not to face the June sun. During the night, from the valleys behind the last houses of the village, come the songs of the peasants. In the morning, someone gives us an ear of wheat to wish us luck and that calloused hand slips a little grain and shows it to us with satisfaction.

I found everything in this beautiful haiku. I found the sowing, the harvest, the hope, and also the fear of a farmer who lives a life tied to the seasons and the whims of time. I found our life connected to the seasons and the harmony of a world that follows the cyclic repetition of natural events—a world intimately linked to zoka. A large-scale haiku, in which it is possible to dive in-depth and that transmits calm and serenity with a few simple words.

– Margherita Petriccione (Italy)

To me, this reads as a hokku because, in the fragment, there’s a beautiful image followed by a phrase that speaks to me about the sense of time, perhaps fleeting, followed by the ma (thinking space) which are known techniques used for this style of poetry that predates haiku.

I couldn’t find “moonbow” as a kigo reference but this rainbow phenomena happens with moonlight instead of the sun and often appears near waterfalls on a near-to-full moon. So, in a sense, it could be considered a micro kigo which is associated with certain parts during the day e.g. dawn, mid-noon, sunset, etc. But in this case, it’s monthly via the phase of the moon.

What also interested me about this poem is the lack of juxtaposition between the fragment or phrase or in the fragment itself, which further solidifies my thoughts that this is a hokku where there’s “no trickery” in terms of zoka. That is another aspect to this style of writing which Basho is known for. I think his “old pond” hokku did not have juxtaposition either but instead utilized a great use of space and sense switching which led to many scholarly debates.

One can easily argue that this is a haiku as well from a Shiki point of view, who also didn’t use any tricks. Then again, she didn’t use much or any space in much of her work as well.

The phrase is open to interpretation. Perhaps it’s the end of a bountiful harvest or the opposite. It could be a song of jubilation or a somber one with or without the view of a moonbow. Whether this is a haiku or a hokku, the author wrote something very interesting with a beautiful opening line and an intriguing phrase to dive in and ponder on.

– Fractled (USA)

I think this haiku is reflective of William Blake’s poem “Auguries of Innocence.” Here is a famous excerpt:

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

However, Chauhan’s haiku provides a less direct approach and aesthetic, which is common in finely written haiku. She is comparing the subtle, magical, and mystical event of a moonbow with a farmer’s song in a grain of wheat. One might ask how it is possible for a song to be in a grain of wheat. It does seem a bit fanciful but really it isn’t. The vibration of the farmer’s voice can easily physically enter into the wheat. But I think we don’t want a science lesson, so it is better to talk about what this image implies.

Not only does it reflect an interconnection between humanity and nature but also the cause and effect relationship there is between all things. This haiku can call attention to our actions, whether they are positive or negative. In the case of this poem, the (assumed) joy of the farmer is transferred to the grain of wheat and vibrates with positive energy, so to say. A moonbow, with its subtle stream of colors, is also representative of a synthesis of things.

Overall, the mood is cheerful and mystic. The last line surprises the reader and this astonishment brings a sense of wonder. This is a common goal for many haiku poets: to induce wonder in our readers.

Lastly, it works great technically. The ellipsis in the first line allows the reader to pause to imagine the wonderful sight of a moonbow. In terms of sound, the “o”s work fantastically to create a sense of the length of the moonbow and the song of the farmer. Also, the three “r”s give it a twang that is reminiscent of the language of a farmer.

A delightful haiku that is at once spiritual, joyful, and a celebration of the ordinary.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (USA)

If you enjoyed this haiku and commentary, please let us know in the comments.

– Art by © Hiroshi Yamamoto