Commentary: I can feel the problems of ageing in this haiku, especially since the colour ‘white’ is projected in this haiku by adding snow and white hair. First snow as used in many haiku is a symbol of yearning, grief, stillness, contemplation, ageing, and deep feelings. In this haiku, first snow seems to project ageing and its issues related to either hardship, loss, and/or grief. “Caught in the willow branches” seems to mean a tangled story of when life becomes more complicated with age. I also see white hair as nerves/neurotransmitters that are linked with memory. It appears the person has lost her memory or already suffers from it i.e. Alzheimer’s, dementia, etc. I liked the mystery and subtlety of this haiku which conveys many meanings in the most decent and precise way.
— Samo Kreutz (Slovenia) Modern Haiku, Issue 54.2, Summer 2023
Commentary: I greatly appreciate the perspective, meaning, and humor in this haiku. It reminds us that Nature speaks louder than a dispute with our neighbor. In general, I think a good question to ask is: during disputes or conflicts, can we take a step back and listen to the voices of Mother Earth? What does the Earth have to say? Indeed, human beings are only small threads in the infinite web of life. With a greater point of view, our lives and circumstances are put into perspective. An excellent haiku.
Commentary: What drew me to this haiku was the ownership the wren has over the garden. The wren most likely does not see the garden as human-made or cultivated, but rather as another part of nature. I feel the haiku makes us ponder about our relationship to the natural world and its beings. It also makes me contemplate about how something so small can be powerful and take up space. The “c” sounds in the second line bring alive the chattering, and the “e” and “n” sounds in the first line emit a sense of dignity. In terms of season, I would place this haiku in spring, as you see wrens the most during that time; the haiku as a whole has a spring aesthetic, in my opinion. Additionally, I enjoy the simplicity and phrasing in the poem, with “chattering” connected either to the wren or the garden itself. Overall, this haiku is charming, humorous, and concisely profound.
cars passing all day in between the silence of linden trees
— Deborah A. Bennett (USA) (published previously in Wales Haiku Journal, Spring 2022)
Commentary
The stark comparison between cars and the linden trees in this haiku is a humble reminder of just how loud and fast-paced human life can be. Without notice, trees quietly and efficiently provide oxygen, store carbon, clean the air, and cool down city temperatures with their shade. I see trees as spiritual giants and their resilience is well-portrayed in this haiku. Trees were here long before humans and they do their work, regardless of human beings polluting the Earth on a daily basis. Ultimately, all human beings come and go, but the regenerative power of trees and forests can stand the test of time and has proven to regenerate, even after nuclear power plant disasters and cataclysmic events. This is partly due to the vast mycelium networks underground. Mycelium are master decomposers; they create more depth and nutrient-rich soil, but they also communicate and connect trees and plants in infinitely complex ways that we as humans cannot fathom.
On the note of interconnectedness, perhaps this haiku can also inspire more people to use alternative ways of transportation that result in less pollution. We are physically made of elements from the Earth. If we see ourselves as not separate from the Earth as isolated individuals, but rather as spiritual beings who are intimately and deeply connected with the Earth and the Great Mystery, then I think more of us will naturally choose to be more mindful and lead better, more meaningful lives.
In short, this is an important haiku that juxtaposes fast-paced human life with the resilient power of Mother Earth and trees. A powerful haiku.
Cars passing all day may be symbolic of the rush in our daily lives that revolves around materialism where one is involved in earning money, making a career, and living up to the expectations of the modern fast-paced life. I also see how these cars passing can be linked with pollution. With more carbon emissions and polluted air, we are running after a materialistic life. I can also see how vehicles are defining our social statuses and our routines. This mechanic life where distances become shorter to destinations creates vacuums internally in terms of health, lifestyles, and relationships.
The second line ‘in between’ demonstrates how miserable this life can be. The silence of linden trees might symbolize how we have muted nature, birdsong, and wind, and brought a pause to the natural cycle which is destructive in many ways. The linden tree is a remedial tree that is good for coughs and colds. We have not only destroyed the growth of trees but also ruined the healing process that usually comes from nature. Noise and air pollution have clogged our minds. Sometimes we cannot enjoy the nature around us or see how deeply it has affected us. The destructive aspects of nature can surprise us, as we are not fully attuned to it. So, our real success or progress is not our fast-paced life or technology that facilitates us, but the nature that keeps us moving on naturally and simply. It inspires us to focus more on our genuineness and real potential.
To me, this haiku is about the balance between nature and nurture, which is significant for a healthy and peaceful life.
I like how this haiku can be read in various ways due to the pivot in the second line. It can be read as one flowing phrase, or as “cars passing all day” (full stop) and then “in between” (pause) “the silence of linden trees.” Additionally, it can be read as “cars passing all day in between” and then “the silence of linden trees” as a juxtaposition. This allows for multiple interpretations.
With the “silence of linden trees,” I believe this haiku might be placed in autumn. Without leaves, the trees don’t make a sound. The poet could also be speaking of the internal quiet of a tree or that it never speaks.
With a lack of punctuation, the pivot line can work its magic. A lot of haiku use punctuation in place of a kireji, or “cutting word.” However, in this haiku, the lack of punctuation seems to be a benefit.
The length of the lines is not standard for English-language haiku. Usually, it is a short first line, a longer second line, and a short third line. The poet could have placed the current first line as the third line, but that would do away with the power of the pivot in the original version:
in between the silence of linden trees cars passing all day
It seems the poet is not so interested in following the standard format and writes haiku organically. This is commonly a sign of expertise.
Sonically, the L sounds carried throughout create a sense of softness. This reflects the silence well. The assonance of the A and E sounds also makes for a mellow reading.
With a combination of a meditative and melancholic feeling, this haiku brings us into a new state of mind that is once relatable and unfamiliar.
Haiku Commentary 