Tag: Haiku

Haiku by Rowan Beckett, Anne Morrigan, and Alexander Groth

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

stars on stars ever growing my boyhood

— Rowan Beckett (USA)
Prune Juice, issue 40, 2023

Commentary from Nicholas Klacsanzky:

Having the haiku as one line adds more interpretations to it. It can be read in these ways: “stars on stars/ever growing my boyhood”; “stars on stars ever growing/my boyhood”; “stars on stars/ever growing/my boyhood.” There is no wrong or right way to read it. I enjoy this aspect.

“stars on stars” might be a seasonal reference to winter. In this season, it is easiest to see the constellations and brightness of stars. This reference contrasts poignantly with “ever growing my boyhood.” Winter is not normally associated with growth, but this haiku demonstrates that even in the coldest times, spring can happen.

Looking at the sound, the first thing I noticed was the multiple r’s. In my opinion, this sound gives the haiku more oomph and sharpness, while the o’s elongate the reading and suggest growth.

With only seven words, the poet creates many reverberations and resonances. The right balance was made: it’s hard to imagine the haiku improving from its already powerful self by adding or taking away a word.

dawn canal 
the oarsmen draw 
a new horizon

— Anne Morrigan (Canada)
Poetry Pea Journal, 1:23, 2023

Commentary from Jacob D. Salzer:

I appreciate the metaphorical value of this haiku, the clear imagery, and its meaning. This haiku shows the importance of teamwork which can create more possibilities than anything one person can do alone. The new horizon formed by their oars could be seen as a hopeful future when we work together as a community or as a team. The men in this haiku are connected with the water, which also inspires community. In addition, the dawn marks a new beginning and a hopeful future. In short, this is an inspiring haiku that shows the importance of teamwork and our connections with the Earth and each other.

cherry blossoms bloom
a distant memory of
my former winter

— Alexander Groth (Germany)
5-7-5 Haiku Journal, May 9, 2024

This traditional haiku on cherry blossoms made me smile because of its format. The first line emphasizes the blooming period—maybe early spring or the end of winter. The time of blooming matters as it inspired the poet to reminisce about a memory of the former winter. This haiku is one of the best examples of showing a strong bond between nature, especially two seasons (spring and winter), and personal experiences i.e. a memory. 

In this poem, the connection between the blossoms and memory is deep yet remote. The distant memory shows something fading due to forgetting or returning to the conscious mind. The second line ends at ‘of’—a cutting word that gives a double meaning to the theme if we read it like this: ‘a distant memory of(f)’. In both cases, the cherry blossoms either made the memory fade away or refreshed it.

The closing line hints about the season or period which is ‘former winter’—a season when quietness often makes people spend their time either being nostalgic.  It also depends on the kind of memory, which is not revealed in this haiku and is still a mystery. In any case, it is cherry blossoms that trigger what seems like a pleasant memory. The lack of punctuation makes this haiku more profound and open to many interpretations. 

ESA/Hubble & NASA

Poems by Kelly Sargent, Marc Brimble, and Anthony Lusardi

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku, Tanka3 Comments

fallen acorn renewing our vows

— Kelly Sargent (USA) 
Frogpond, issue 47:1, winter 2024

Commentary from Nicholas Klacsanzky:

The way the word “renewing” works as a pivot to create different readings is spectacular. I think the monoku could be read in at least three ways: “fallen/acorn renewing our vows”; “fallen acorn/renewing our vows”; “fallen acorn renewing/our vows.”

The contrast between “fallen” and “renewing” creates a powerful link. Acorns are also often used as symbols of rebirth, and the monoku could be personifying it. In addition, I enjoy how the kind of vows that are being expressed is left up to the reader.

Finally, the train of “n,” “o,” and “w” sounds makes this haiku sonically pleasant. The poem begins with harder sounds and ends with softer tones. With only five words, the poem has much euphony and meaning.

waiting for confession
I notice
The Virgin’s thigh

— Marc Brimble (Spain)

Commentary from Hifsa Ashraf:

The opening line of this haiku is personal and well thought out. It seems the person is going through the process of reflecting on what went wrong in their life. The mistakes bother the person but at the same time, there is no sort of hesitation, conflict, or confusion in obtaining a confession. The question is: “Is it a big confession?” “Is it someone’s first confession?” “Is it a self-motivated confession?” “Is it a forced confession?” In any case, the one who will confess is taking time to think about it.

In the second part of the poem, there is a surprising element of moving from spiritual to worldly desires. It may imply that the person will confess something about yearnings or an intimate relationship. Nonetheless, their thought process is oscillating between what is seen and what is not, what is more significant and what is less, what is right and what is wrong. It seems the person is being distracted from a symbolic meaning of life by worldly desires and is not yet ready for a deeply felt confession. 

within its web
within a hollow stump
a grass spider                      
feels the earth
and all its vibrations

— Anthony Lusardi (USA)
Ribbons, Spring/Summer issue, 2022

Commentary from Jacob D. Salzer: 

The clear imagery and the perspective from the spider’s point of view make this a strong tanka. The web could be seen as a symbol for the web of life. I appreciate how this tanka reminds us of the interconnectedness of life and the impact we have on Earth and her creatures. The last line also opens up many possibilities as we imagine the different vibrations. When I read this tanka, I feel compassion for the spider. There could also be metaphorical interpretations in the first two lines. Ultimately, I think this tanka reminds us to be more mindful of our actions. I believe this is an important, ecologically-based tanka that inspires compassion.

Nefflier a gros Fruit. Original from the Minneapolis Institute of Art. Dated: 19th century ; Artist: Michel Bouquet ; Nationality: French ; Artist Life: 1807-1890.

Haiku from Antoine Cassar, Tuyet Van Do, and Srini

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

Negotiations —
owner, bank, architect, notary,
and now this mosquito…

— Antoine Cassar (Malta)

Commentary from Jacob D. Salzer:

As humans, we are frequently faced with negotiations, but this haiku also has a humorous twist in the last line, which I appreciate. It seems the poet’s sense of humor in this haiku may be a kind of coping mechanism among frustrating and/or challenging situations in life.

Another unique feature of this haiku is the poet’s use of punctuation. We have an em dash, four commas, and an ellipsis, which is rarely seen in a single haiku. I think the many forms of punctuation amplify a drawn-out, elongated effect, which seems to give the impression that the poet may be tired of negotiations and wants more peace and silence. Indeed, some negotiations also go on for quite some time. For example, competing for the ownership of a house can involve several negotiations regarding the mortgage payments and the down payment. 

In short, this is an interesting haiku that blends humor with the heavy financial decisions, negotiations, and struggles that many of us face in modern life.

musical notes
across the power lines
spotted doves

— Tuyet Van Do (Australia)
haikuNetra, issue 1.2, 2023

Commentary from Nicholas Klacsanzky:

I prefer haiku that employ pivot lines, and this one delivers. “Musical notes across power lines” is a neat phenomenon to imagine. However, it can turn morbid if we imagine the doves are getting electrocuted and there is sound coming from that occurrence. “Across the power lines, spotted doves” is much more tame, in my opinion, as it sees the doves adding their songs to the hum of electrical lines. This interpretation makes a connection between nature and the human world.

This haiku is also pleasant to the ear, with the strong presence of “o” and “s.” It is paced well, too, with the traditional short/long/long rhythm. Also, with only eight words, the poet focused on brevity and the economy of language. In addition, the poet made sure the poem didn’t lean into verbosity. Overall, this haiku combines a variety of poignant interpretations with technical accuracy in its craft.

where school ends wildflowers

— Srini (India)
haikuNetra, issue 1.4, 2023

Commentary from Hifsa Ashraf:

This simple monoku says a lot in four words. I see it in terms of time and space. It starts with a question that lets us pause and think about the space or place. The school may be in a remote area, a war-affected domain, a refugee camp, or a city/town. The location is significant in this case. I see it as a war-affected area or a refugee camp where it’s unpredictable what will happen after school or where learning and knowledge will take a student. ‘School ends’ doesn’t mean anything certain in the future or ‘school ends wildflowers’ may lead to something specific. Another aspect could be a school where a person rejoices in a carefree life, and when it comes to an end, the worries or anxieties about the future start coming.

I like the way the poet ends it with ‘wildflowers’—something I often use in my poems, and it’s the title of my micropoetry book on refugees. ‘Wildflowers’ show both abundance and abandonment here depending on how we read it i.e. ‘school ends wildflowers’= abundance or ‘school ending at wildflowers’= abandonment. So, it can be an opportunity for a new life or a new beginning. It could also display a hope for abundance. On the flipside, it could demonstrate abandonment in a real sense where someone may get stuck with a career or responsibility, or remain directionless like wildflowers. Ultimately, I take it as something positive irrespective of the location or situation of the school or personal experiences associated with it.