zenith
a cloud in a cloud
rolls around

© Pere Risteski (Republic of Macedonia)

The repetition of ‘o’ in line 2 and line 3 makes this haiku a visual delight. There is a sense of being laid-back in this which makes the reading experience very serene. Though there is no mention of the season or time of day, I am imagining a quiet, blissful summer dusk. A lovely haiku, all in all.

– Pragya Vishnoi (India)

The zenith—the nadir celestial axis is the vertical axis according to which one aligns oneself in the posture of zazen. So, the immediate image that this haiku suggests to me is a moment of meditation under a clear sky in which two clouds seem to follow a circular motion. Clouds attract interest and create a point of distraction, and can be compared to thoughts that entangle and return to disturb the serenity of the moment. But I feel deeper resonance in this haiku that appears to me almost like a koan. Maybe I followed the wrong key of reading, but I find it a remarkable haiku—simple and yet well-refined in form.

– Margherita Petriccione (Italy)

The word ‘zenith’ makes this haiku interesting and multidimensional as well. The person is meditating under the open sky, which makes his unique experience worth sharing, as he must have found the zenith as a part of his inner peace and he feels as if he is at his zenith for a moment.

Overall, I can see the deepest desires of the person embedded in the meditative thoughts of the day, which could be daydreaming as well. A cloud in a cloud again could reflect the deep meaning of one’s dreams or wishes that are interconnected. But in the case of meditation, a person looks through these clouds for a clear sky. Yet, in this case, the person enjoyed the experience of clouds manifesting his dreams or desires, which brings more clarity to them. He might feel as if he is out of the confusion. It may also reflect him finding the purpose of life by capturing the intuitive moments that brings a person to a state of extreme happiness, which is in a sense recognizing one’s core potential, which can seem like a miracle.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

If you enjoyed this poem and commentary, let us know in the comments.

© Mariusz Szmerdt