grandfather’s trembling feet
searching for the slippers
in this cold night

— Lanka Siriwardana (Sri Lanka)
Honorable Mention, 76th Basho Memorial English Haiku Contest, 2022

Commentary from Jacob D. Salzer:

Like many well-written haiku, there is a balance in this haiku between concrete imagery and mystery. In the first reading of this haiku, we could see “trembling feet” relating to the cold temperature. However, the trembling could also be due to a medical condition and/or old age, in addition to the cold night. The words “searching for the slippers” show a kind of struggle, partly because it’s evening, but the poet’s grandfather also might have dementia or some form of memory loss.

The overall tone of this poem inspires compassion because we get a real glimpse of the grandfather’s life in a cold atmosphere. As a reader, I wonder if the grandfather lives in a home or shelter that isn’t heated well. This haiku also reminds us that a simple task many people take for granted (such as finding their slippers) can be a significant challenge for others. I am reminded of my late grandmother who had dementia. Even walking to the front door and putting on her shoes was a significant task that took quite some time. Indeed, psychologically, there seems to be a slower pace to this haiku, in stark contrast to the busy, daily lives in modern cities. This is a haiku that inspires sensitivity and compassion. 

— Bonnie J Scherer (USA)
Daily Haiga, 9/30/2024 

Commentary from Hifsa Ashraf:

The opening line of this haiku suggests the time of departure—probably afternoon or early evening. Migrating geese move in a flock with a specific formation, making their flight unique. 

‘Swallowed by blue sky’ makes the scene more dramatic and mysterious. It is an unusual time of depature which may be due to unfavourable circumstances i.e. climate change, war, etc. The word ‘swallowed’ indicates a critical or unfavourable situation where the geese disappeared either due to smog or smoke or in a symbolic way. 

The missing article before ‘blue sky’ perhaps points to a regular situation where geese disappear normally. We may be getting less sensitive to what is happening in nature, where birds do not feel secure in blue sky—not having the freedom of enjoying seasonal flights. It also indicates that such beautiful scenes are missing where bird lovers can enjoy bird watching. 

Overall, the vivid imagery of birds is quite sad and stark for those who love nature. 

night ferry
pitching its way
through starlight 

— Maire Morrissey Cummins (Ireland)

Commentary from Nicholas Klacsanzky:

I grew up near a ferry dock, so I can easily relate to this haiku. The lights from night ferries are majestic to witness. In conjunction with “starlight,” it would be truly a spectacle. The casual speed of a ferry also makes this image more beautiful, with the ferry pitching i.e. an up-or-down movement of the bow and stern of the ship. The combination of artificial and natural light, as well as the earth and the cosmos, add to the meaning of the haiku.

Looking at the more technical aspects of this haiku, one can easily say that it follows the tradition of brevity, with only seven words used. Each word is employed well, especially “pitching,” which gives the poem more motion. Also, the “i” sounds perhaps make the starlight imagined more stark, and the “r” sounds provide more weight.

Like many fine haiku, on first read, it seems simple. Yet after looking a bit deeper, we can see layers of resonance and fantastic imagery that connect the human-made world with the cosmos.