Dave Read’s Night Winds

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

Dave Read gives us a masterful last line, a strong pivot line, and an emotive first line.

night winds
I let her go
to voicemail

Frogpond 39.1

© Dave Read

I am a fan of Dave’s last lines. His haiku usually surprise readers in witty or emotional ways, or both. Last lines are kind of the first “aha” moments in haiku. The second eureka moment comes when you realize how the night winds may be, in a sense, speaking to Dave… and that’s why he lets “her” go to voicemail. I propose that “her” is either a girlfriend or a wife. Don’t want to sound like a psychologist, so I will put it at that.

The second line creates the tension in the haiku, which is essential to writing good haiku, and well, almost anything. Without tension, haiku would be merely a pretty picture. And by tension, I don’t mean exclusively stressful events, but some way for readers to have suspense or to feel a disconnect for a while before they figure it all out.
With the wind and the act of letting go, it seems he is handing her over to the forces of nature. But in the third line, we get a surprise.

“night winds” not only sounds emotive reading it out loud, it is emotive in the images and memories it brings to our minds. It also brings up a seasonal reference. I am feeling it is probably autumn, which would mark the change happening in the author’s relationship with the caller. Night winds carry on without obstruction, and this seems like what the author wanted to do as well.

But more than intellectual thought, the feeling of the author is palpable: the melancholy and introspection. Above all, to me, haiku are about a feeling. And I think Dave deftly got his feeling across.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Tiwago’s Petals

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

new petals
luring honey bees
a spider

© Tiwago (USA)

In this one, we get a good view at the workings of nature.

First the petals’ sweetness attracts honeybees and then for a surprise ending, the poet adds “a spider.”

We are left hanging in the space between the bees, petals, and spider.

We have to then visualize what will happen, but it seems clear to me that the spider is a jumper.

It’s a beautiful image that lets us create another beautiful image.

It is the truth of nature, once again asserting itself and then captured by a poet.

Perhaps the bee will escape. Or if it stings the spider, it too will die.

Thanks Tiwago for sharing a bit of spring drama.

This is where the haiku can be dramatic without drawing too much
attention; it is the minimal use of well-chosen words and placement that I like so much.

– Edwin Lomere (USA)

Yumino Aoiro’s Sincerity

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaigaLeave a comment

18 - 1

A precise haiku written Yumino Aoiro, who is also an artist and usually accompanies his haiku with a visual of simple elegance. He has been producing beautiful work for as long as I have known him and I have to keep in mind that “English” is not his native language.

I like the idea of using “sincerity” in the song of the cuckoo as a descriptor in the haiku. “Sincere” means open and not deceitful, and this captures the beauty of all nature. It simply is what it is. The beautiful part is that the cuckoo doesn’t know that we see her as “sincere.” She exists somewhere in her song. She flies in whatever routes or courses that come to her in that moment; hopefully, a safe one, but, maybe not.

We benefit from that song in gaining some clarity for ourselves. Regardless of our ego and “intelligence” we can only be what we are.
I think  Yumino indirectly tells us this in his haiku. It is there for the taking.

He also gives us a “sweet” (warm) “breeze.” It is gentle and we can feel it if we pause at the ellipsis that he provides; we pause and feel the breeze: sweet breeze… We share the breeze with all things and we are held for a moment in the haiku to realize this.

Of the cuckoo sounds that I have heard, there seem to be two musical intervals: the darker minor third, and the brighter major third. Either way, we know those two famous tones around the world. It is only the cuckoo calling. “Singing,” as we think of it, in its own musical birdly world.

Yumino san takes us into that little, yet expansive world and we rest for a moment in the interval. He has given us a haiku of simple elegance and balance. Something classical has formed like the human mind desires. Something we can access and have sought out for generations: it is simplicity, a slower world, earth-time.

– Edwin Lomere (USA)