flower show
the stage was already
set for death

© Edwin Lomere (USA)

This haiku, or perhaps senryu, is open to many interpretations. It could be about the ephemeral nature of flowers, or life in general. It could be about a funeral. It could be how metaphorical coincidences happen, like when someone dies while acting on stage, while flowers were attached to the stage, and the flowers were now something used for an entirely different purpose.

But besides searching for meaning, we get a feeling of dissonance while reading this haiku. I think this is central to the haiku. It creates friction by us reevaluating what beauty is and how that beauty might end up being an instrument of something morbid.

On the technical side, the sound of the haiku is engaging. Edwin wrote a succinct haiku that leaves much to ponder and to feel.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

midday heat
a great eggfly sips
my sweat

© Lucky Triana (Indonesia)

This haiku shows the classical compassion and even irrationality that is the essence of haiku. It also has a strong seasonal reference and a great sense of sound.

The poet is sweating, but the butterfly is taking away her sweat. Though this action is instinctual, there is a sense of compassion in it–which is a paradox that haiku often employs.

“Midday heat” is a common seasonal reference for summer, and summer is a relaxing and joyful time. The act of the butterfly taking away her sweat is an expression of this carefree atmosphere.

I enjoy the naming of this butterfly, as in haiku, giving exact details is often essential to creating meaning and mood.

The sound of “t” works to create the tension of the heat in “heat” “great” and “sweat.” The sweetness of the compassion can be seen through the “s” sounds: “sips” and “sweat.”

I wish I had been there to experience this. A pleasant haiku.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

cherry blossoms
how a street becomes
a car-park

© Eric Lohman (USA)

Lovely! This is a time, in my opinion, that a crafty rhyme can slip in with ‘blossoms’ and ‘becomes’…the syntax leads you smoothly through cherry blossoms and how a street ‘becomes’ (smooth sounds) before abruptly stopping you at ‘car-park’.(harsh sounds)
Having ‘a car-park’ on L3 is so abrupt it forces the reader to go back to the top, re-reading and building a clearer image on every reading…love it!

– Brendon Kent (UK)

To add to this, I love the juxtaposition between the two parts. Seeing the similarity in the way cherry blossoms bloom and the way urban streets fill up with cars is a genius insight. It also makes a harmony between the natural world and human technology.

In terms of sound, “blossoms” and “becomes” has both a pleasant “b” and “o” sounds, which increases the beauty of the haiku.

Lohman could have written much more, but chose to be concise, which is key to writing haiku. Writing about small things in a large way, concisely: an essential art to practice for any haiku poet.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)