Marilyn Ward’s Shelter

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn ShahaiLeave a comment
 2016+-+1

Haiku is a lot about being objective, accurate, specific, and describing our senses. This is a good example of these qualities. Alan Summers, who is taking a break as a mentor, has often told others about being specific in haiku and how it can add layers and additional meaning to haiku. Marilyn is a true student of Alan. “granite fissures” and “coltsfoot” is right on the mark in terms of being specific.

She could have written:

sheltered from wind
in a hole in a rock
small leafy plant

…but as we see, not only does this lessen the beauty of the sound, it makes it harder for the reader to experience the moment that the haiku portrays. By saying it is granite, fissures, and coltsfoot, the poet gives a vivid picture of the haiku moment and allows us to immerse in the experience.

About the actual feeling of the haiku, I like how the haiku implies that nature has compassion in its seemingly random existence. The haiku is concise, well-paced, and focused.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Martha Magenta’s Summer Silence

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Shahai1 Comment

summer+silence

This is in line with classical haiku. We got a strong kigo or seasonal reference with “summer,” the passive voice of “the dunk” which expresses a sense of egolessness, and a short line-longer line-short line format.

Summer is usually associated with fun, holidays, love, among other things. But in this haiku, Martha examines the serenity of summer.

Reminiscent of the famous haiku by Basho:

old pond
a frog jumps in
the sound of water

Martha concentrates more on the surface of the water, though it is still sound oriented through the reader’s imagination.

The haiku suggests our actions are not their own and we don’t own our actions. This is especially poignant with the use of an animal, who does not have self consciousness. Through the otter, we can realize that we are the witnesses of our actions and existence, rather than being what we do.

The photo compliments the haiku by adding to the atmosphere and image of the haiku. The lily pads and variety of trees are stunning. A meditative photo.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Tiwago’s Song

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku1 Comment

song of wet pavement
with kettledrums and cymbals

             i read between naps

© Tiwago (USA)

With the first two lines, I can imagine a parade or a march through a wet street and the splash of people walking on the street. And then the kettledrums and cymbals come, which heightens the sound, and makes it intense. This intensity makes for an interesting comparison between the second part. The two parts make a striking comparison.

Maybe the author is lying in bed, having a lazy day, while everyone is celebrating something–kind of detached from the world.

I think there is a definite feeling that sets in as one reads the last line. It is not simply a striking image for the sake of being striking.

Overall, I think it is a fascinating haiku that is engaging and maybe even a bit puzzling, but in a good way.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)