mother’s walk
we wander through
each other

© Brendon Kent (UK)
Published in Moon on Water

This haiku shows deep feelings about attachment and detachment. ‘mother’s walk’ intrigues me with the purpose associated with it. Usually, a mother’s walk revolves around the daily activities of her home and children. On contrary, she may want a break from daily activities or a tough routine just to be by herself.

The second and third line suggests that she is not alone whilst walking. She may have the company of another person who has similar feelings or routines. The other person could be either a child or a spouse who is constantly trying to understand the deepest feelings of the mother. This situation also reflects the calm personality of a mother that is usually neglected due to daily activities. It seems the other person came to know about this side of hers rarely, so that’s why she/he enjoys to wander through the feelings and thoughts that are not expressed well in the daily routine.

I can also see empathic listening here, where both are sharing their estranged feelings for each other, most probably silently, as both are passing through similar experiences of life.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I like the many readings available for the phrase “mother’s walk.” It can mean a specific route the poet’s mother took, the way his mother walked, or a day or time the poet set aside for walking with his mother. The lack of punctuation in the first line also adds to the content of the last two lines.

The second line ends with suspense. It hangs on the edge of “through,” and we try to guess what is next. I think it is also good to have “through” at the end of the second line, as I think the poet would not like having a rhyme with “wander” and “other.”

The ending is at once simple and surprising. This poem is an example of the haiku aesthetic of brevity and common language. Haiku poets try not to be superfluous or fancy, and Mr. Kent embodies these principles in this haiku. How the act in the last line happens is a bit of a mystery but the reader can come up with several ideas: the poet is on the path where his mother used to walk and he is “wandering” though memories of her, in a way the poet’s mother left a part of herself there (metaphorically or maybe her ashes were spread there), or maybe the poet is expressing that on an atomic level, each being is connected, even after death.

In terms of sound, the first thing I noticed was the strong use of “r” in “mother,” “wander,” “through,” and “other.” It gives the haiku a serious tone. Also, there are plenty of “w” sounds, which lends a wispiness to the reading.  This gives a fine sonic balance to the haiku.

This haiku has a great mix of emotion, simplicity, and abstraction. With only seven words, it conveys the personal feelings of the poet powerfully.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Do you like this poem and commentary? Let us know in the comments.

 

empty room
a rosary and oranges
on the bedside table

© Francesco Palladino (Italy)

The mysterious starting line sketches the overall image of this haiku that leaves enough room for the reader to relate and interpret it according to their own personal experiences. In fact, this empty room could symbolize ‘loneliness’ and/or ‘melancholy’ that a person faces at least once in his or her life. I can also relate it with thoughts that trigger ’emptiness’ deep within—a sort of depression due to loneliness.

A rosary and oranges may depict healing after an illness that is both in the form of a cure and prayers. The oranges are associated with joy, good luck, and enthusiasm that goes well with the imagery of this haiku. Similarly, a rosary is considered as a hope for healing by reciting different supplications. Having both on the bedside table may indicate the hope and efforts one made to get rid of physical as well as mental issues in life.

There is a spiritual element in this haiku where ’empty room’ may indicate a peaceful mind devoid of thoughts—mindfulness. Then, rosary and oranges as components of spiritual energy enrich the aura with their presence.

As a note about the sound, the letter ‘o’ is repetitive in this haiku, which is also relates to the deep feelings of continuity and flow of divine energy within the soul.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

What I enjoy most about this haiku is the space that it gives readers to ponder what has happened in the room and/or what continues to happen there. We can also guess as readers why the room is empty. The rosary gives a hint that it may be a monastery. However, many different types of people can carry rosaries.

The contrast between the rosary and the oranges is stark. On one hand, rosaries are about prayer and penance, while oranges are succulent, an indulgence, and bright in color. Also, the beads of the rosary are in the shape of oranges, which offers a further connection. The empty room contains so much due to this aesthetic of comparison. It has the spiritual and mundane in concord. Maybe the poem is telling us that we need both in balance.

This haiku reminds me of a poem by Shiki written late in his life:

a red apple
a green apple
on the table

(tr. by Nicholas Klacsanzky)

I think Palladino’s haiku is a fine addition to the legacy of Shiki.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

If you enjoyed this poem and commentary, let us know in the comments.

– Vincent van Gogh, “Basket with Six Oranges”

first snow—
homeless with two left-handed
baseball gloves

© Panagiotis Kentikelenis (Greece)

This haiku reminds me of the time when I used to visit a welfare organisation in my city where I found homeless children seeking for the best reward, which was anything they could wear. I personally handed over warm clothes to many children, including gloves.

“first snow” brings a lot of surprises with it besides transformation. It gives us a deeper chill, where we feel more close to our inner self. For me, the first snow is the best part of the year, which helps us to yearn for new dreams and express ourselves deeply. But, for deprived people as mentioned in this haiku, the first snow is a bit alarming due to the harshness of the season.

I see ‘homeless’ as a metaphor here where a person is deprived of a deep understanding of life and wandering with a wish to settle. The two left-handed gloves may indicate the helplessness of the person who cannot use his or her skills because of not having good choices or two equally bad choices—especially the word ‘baseball’ here reflects the sportsman spirit that is missing due to the choices that person made.

Overall, the theme of this haiku is pessimistic in nature, where a person, due to his or her personal choice (both left-handed gloves), and luck (snow), is unable to cope with different issues of life.

– Hifsa Ashraf (Pakistan)

I would say that both the first snow of the year and having two left-handed gloves comes as a surprise. The first snow seems to come out “left field,” as they say, or out of nowhere. In comparison, becoming homeless is commonly not an intentional choice (though I have met people who have made the choice to be homeless). In general, becoming homeless is like having two left-handed gloves. You get stuck in a state that is undesirable and that seems so off from what you deemed to be reality. In addition, “first snow” can be a symbol of purity, whereas being homeless and receiving two left-handed baseball gloves shows that something is “off.” This link between the human experience and nature is poignant, whether through comparison or contrast.

I like the use of the em dash to make a clear cut between the two parts and to give the haiku more weight. The poet also keeps the rhythm of “short line/longer line/short line.” In terms of sound, the main focus is on “o” with “snow,” “homeless,” “two,” and “gloves.” It slows down the pace of the poem, which allows the reader to take in the haiku in greater depth.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

If you enjoyed this haiku and commentary, please let us know in the comments.