pre-dawn coffee
the smell of cedar
on my wool shirt

© Joshua Gage (USA)
The Heron’s Nest, Dec 2014.

The details in this haiku make it effective. The scene of pre-dawn is one of mystery, introspection, and calmness. The poet is drinking coffee to wake up and get energy for the day that has not begun yet. The smell of cedar, which has a strong scent, could either make the poet think of the work he did yesterday (probably) of cutting wood, or make him feel more calm and centered. So, we maybe have two opposing sides: the energy of the coffee, and the soothing scent of cedar. The mention of wool is a fine touch, as it relates to the season of winter. This is a great example of using a subtle seasonal reference. The poem, and the image it portrays, would have been weaker with just “on my shirt.” Not only is pre-dawn a quiet, reflective time, but doubly so in winter.

I think technically the poet could have added a dash or ellipsis after the first line. However, I understand not adding one due to already using a hyphen. As you might know, haiku poets try to avoid punctuation when not needed. We try to not jar the reader with too much punctuation.

Another consider would be to change the last two lines to:

the waft of cedar (scent)
from my wool shirt

… but I also enjoy the simplicity and sound of the original. “smell” connects musically with “wool” through the “l” sounds. Also, the long “e” sounds in “pre-dawn” and “coffee” show the calmness of the moment. In fact, the “e” sounds are carried into the second line with “the,” “smell,” and “cedar.”

This haiku showcases an enjoyable meditation on the sense of smell and time. The poet packed a lot into the haiku through details and a subtle use of a seasonal reference.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Do you enjoy this haiku? If so, please tell us why in the comments

no rain…
ah but the scent
of jasmine

© John Knight (1935-2012) (Australia)

This is a fine example of how haiku can express a feeling without stating it. The word “ah” lends a hand in knowing the exact feeling of the writer, but the emotion of refreshment could also be extracted without this word. Rain soothes, nurtures, and beautifies. The same can be said about the scent of jasmine, which is scientifically proven to calm the nerves with its sweet smell. This haiku shows a philosophical notion of wholeness: despite the absence of rain (jasmine is a seasonal reference for late summer, so the absence of rain would be more apparent during this time), the scent of jasmine has replaced its effects. In other words, if something fails to happen, something else will take its place. Nature has a way of retaining its balance.

I like the use of the ellipsis so the reader can feel the pause of the writer while he was witnessing the moment. I think the pacing is well done, and the lines are laid out efficiently. There is just enough words to convey its idea and feeling. Like I mentioned before, “ah” could have been theoretically left out, however, it gives us more of a sense of the mood.  In terms of sound, I enjoy the usage of “n” in “rain,” “scent,” and “jasmine.” It provides the poem with an air of dignity, in my opinion. The simplicity and naturalness of how the haiku reads is also admirable.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Learn about John Knight and read more of his poems here: http://livinghaikuanthology.com/index-of-poets/livinglegacies/3694-knight,-john.html

Did you enjoy this haiku? Please tell us why in the comments.

Silently putting out
a candle in the sand—
midday

© Ban’ya Natsuishi (Japan)

Though the word “silent” has become a cliché in haiku, I am a sucker for its usage, as I am a daily meditator that believes in the power of silence. Also, when it is used effectively, it surpasses our biases. What also draws me into this haiku is its unique second line. As a reader, one tries to understand why a candle would be in the sand. It could relate to a funeral, it could be a tricky phrase stating that the reflection of the sun in a puddle could appear like candle light and the sun moved (essentially putting it “out”), the writer could be performing a religious or spiritual practice, and more. The mystery behind this haiku allows the reader to imagine many scenarios. The last line complements the first part, as we might have thought the setting was night, when in fact it was not. The poet can also be saying that “midday is like silently putting out a candle in the sand.” Sometimes, haiku are unsaid metaphors, where two parts imply something abstract.

I enjoy the use of the cutting word, or the kireji, provided by the dash. It adds an appropriate pause, especially considering the mood. There is a strong sense of sound in this haiku as well, with “t” being the most prominent letter in the first line, capturing the quiet mood of the poem. In the second line, letter “a” appears to be the most important, and gives a sense of awe. With “midday,” the two “d”s complement “candle.” An effective and mysterious haiku.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

To learn more about Ban’ya Natsuishi, visit: http://www.worldhaiku.net/poetry/jp/b.natsuishi.htm

Do you enjoy this haiku? Tell us why in the comments.