Tag: poetry

Laughing Waters’ Spiderweb

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn HaikuLeave a comment

doorstep
in her shoes
a spiderweb

© Laughing Waters (Italy)

Quite a multi layered haiku.What I mean by multi layered is that it can be read in at least two ways. First, we can read it as “doorstep in her shoes/spiderweb.” So, the shadow of the doorstep is in her shoe, kind of like it is wearing it, or the shadow of the place where everyone comes into the home is in the shoe, and that is being contrasted with a spiderweb, which inadvertently gets stuff stuck in it.

The second way we can read it is “doorstep/in her shoes a spiderweb.” Then, we have a mystery. Why do the shoes have a spiderweb in them? How long have the shoes been out there? Does that mean that something bad has happened to the owner of the shoes? A doorstep is a place where strangers and family alike come, and the person’s absence could signify death, and in joining the collective experience of the afterlife, being a part of nature, or being in heaven–whatever way you look at it.

Also, the image itself is interesting and captures one’s attention. In these moments, we can get lost in looking at what is happening in front of us and be in the moment, without thought.

The lack of punctuation makes this haiku more free and fun to read.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Martha Magenta’s Stars

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Shahai1 Comment

SAVE_20160518_192817

Each word in this shahai (haiku with a photo) is significant and carries many dimensions. Though the haiku can be taken literally, as two lovers far away from each other, and them gazing at different night skies, the metaphorical quality of the haiku easily comes through.

The tone of the haiku is almost argumentative. It is quite personal, like the reader is listening in on a couple’s heated conversation. “hemisphere” can mean literally the hemisphere one is in, or the hemisphere of the loved one’s brain, or in a more abstract sense, the perspective of the loved one.

“gaze” is not a light word here. From the tone of the haiku, it seems be used in a negative manner.

What I got from this haiku is that the poet does not like how a certain loved one perceives or notices only the exterior or holistic points in the poet, while the loved one is missing the “stars,” the small things that create the larger picture of who she is.

And what a large entity we have in the photo, of which appears to be a panorama of a galaxy or two (or maybe infinity itself, because we are infinite, right?). I believe this shows the wideness the poet wished the loved one saw in her.

Though there seems to be more than enough pronouns, the haiku is so engaging that I didn’t even consider it a problem.

The wording is concise and it is well-phrased. I would move this to being a senryu rather than a haiku based on its tone. But ultimately, the feeling behind the poem is more important than the categorization.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Edwin Lomere’s Moonlight

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Shahai1 Comment

cat

I enjoy the pacing of the tanka, the images “rock fence” “moonlight” “road” and of course the image of the cat! This is called shahai, which combines a haiku/tanka and an image. The image usually does not directly correspond to the haiku/tanka, but connects to it subtly. And Elomere did this wonderfully.

There is a connection between the rock fences and moonlight in color, and both seem timeless. Though both seem rustic, they are still majestic and stark. The connection between the two parts, however, seems more intuitive than intellectual.

The sense of sound in the tanka is wonderful, with connecting “r” sounds and “i” sounds, which separates the two parts even further. The last line comes as a surprise and makes us want to read the tanka a few times.

The ending image can mean many things. Moonlight in Zen philosophy can mean enlightenment or oneness or the self. Moonlight in other circumstances can mean sadness or contemplation.

The connection between the two parts or two statements is subtle and a bit of a puzzle. This is something that marks a fine tanka and/or haiku.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)