Month: May 2016

Tiwago’s Song

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn Haiku1 Comment

song of wet pavement
with kettledrums and cymbals

             i read between naps

© Tiwago (USA)

With the first two lines, I can imagine a parade or a march through a wet street and the splash of people walking on the street. And then the kettledrums and cymbals come, which heightens the sound, and makes it intense. This intensity makes for an interesting comparison between the second part. The two parts make a striking comparison.

Maybe the author is lying in bed, having a lazy day, while everyone is celebrating something–kind of detached from the world.

I think there is a definite feeling that sets in as one reads the last line. It is not simply a striking image for the sake of being striking.

Overall, I think it is a fascinating haiku that is engaging and maybe even a bit puzzling, but in a good way.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

 

Eva Limbach’s Soldiers

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn TankaLeave a comment

soldiers
took them by their hands
step by step
across the minefields
the wind

————————–

Original German:

von den Soldaten
an der Hand geführt
Schritt für Schritt
über die Minenfelder
der Wind

© Eva Limbach (Germany) (2016)

The contrast of the freedom of the wind, and the self-made dangers of war (minefields) is stark. I believe Eva is pointing towards how human nature has been separated from the natural world.

The languid pace of the tanka helps us to realize and come to the last line stronger. Though the last line is simple, it is effective and even shocks a reader.

From what I can read from this translation, the language is simple, but each word counts. I think Eva has got to the heart of an important issue without telling too much or explaining too much–which is precisely why poetry like tanka and haiku are so effective.

She truly used the “show, don’t tell” principle in this tanka. An inspiring work.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)

Marina Balmaceda Paredes’ Altar

On By Nicholas KlacsanzkyIn ShahaiLeave a comment

16+-+

Just the right pacing and the right words. We begin with “altar dusk,” suggesting that this haiku is about a religious or spiritual activity. With dusk, that activity is ending, but we have the ellipses (…) telling us something else might happen, or that the dusk is slowly carrying on.

The second line comes as a pleasant surprise. It suggests that there was music during the religious or spiritual event, but now another form of music is being played. But where?

The third line gives us the answer. The music is coming from outside. In a sense, the poet is implying that the religious or spiritual music is being playing on through street music. This concept bridges the spiritual world with the human world, and makes it one, though the poet skillfully does not say this directly. Oneness is an often-used concept in haiku–usually from surprising counterparts.

I like the sound of the haiku as well. “altar” and “another” have a nice tune, and “dusk” and “tune” make good use of the “u” sound, which sounds musical.

The photo adds to the imagery already in our mind. We see a street lamp, which can be seen as an extension of the alter lamp, but in a suburban setting.

I enjoy how the haiku and accompanying image portrays the thought that spiritual and religious activity need not be stuffed in a box, but can be expressed in many different forms, even street music.

– Nicholas Klacsanzky (Ukraine)