Several one-line haiku by Alan Summers

We have a special feature this time around. Here are several commentaries on one-line haiku from Alan Summers’ new book, modŏ – new & selected.

the robin and the snow and the robin’s song again underscored


Commentary by Hifsa Ashraf:

When I read this poem in one go, I feel as if an old vinyl record is playing on a loop, with slight pauses between the music that are almost imperceptible. It is a profound monoku in which the poet sketches a winter scene for us—a season of deep silence, where snow and cold weather often keep people indoors. Yet, winter is also a season of reflection, allowing us to connect more deeply with our inner selves and with nature. Since snow is a familiar part of winter in many regions of the world, connecting one’s emotions with it feels both natural and profound.

The opening word, ‘the’, makes me think of a particular robin. It may be a bird enjoying itself in the snow, or perhaps its song carries a note of sadness or loneliness. Symbolically, I also see the robin as a person seeking solace in nature in whatever way they can. Is the robin connected to deeply personal feelings that resurface each winter? Is it an old longing or desire that has quietly endured over the years and now emerges again in this season? The snow in the background plays an important role in highlighting these thoughts, emotions, moods, and desires. It also evokes a sense of nostalgia—something that keeps returning with the arrival of winter.

‘The snow’, likewise, may represent the familiar qualities associated with winter: silence, loneliness, emptiness, and stillness. Yet, I also see it as a kind of white noise, something vast and difficult to fully grasp. In this sense, the robin and the snow create a yin-yang relationship, complementing and defining one another.

The repetition of and in italics, though less emphasized, together with the recurring presence of the robin and the snow, creates an interesting rhythmic effect in the background. It emphasizes both elements and encourages readers to view them not as separate images but as parts of a unified experience.

The real cut, for me, occurs at ‘again’. The word suggests continuity—something returning time and again, whether through the cycle of the seasons or through recurring personal memories. It is as though the robin’s song repeatedly resurfaces within the snowy landscape. Perhaps it is something a solitary person longs for in winter: a sound that breaks the silence and resonates with their feelings. The song inspires one to join nature’s chorus and find comfort within it. It becomes something impossible to ignore amid the quiet fall of snow.

The haiku concludes with the word ‘underscored’, which shifts our attention from the surface imagery to the deeper music beneath it. Besides the robin’s song and the silence of the snow, there is a hidden harmony created by their interaction. The robin gives voice to the snow, while the snow, in turn, amplifies the robin’s song. The ending carries a subtle melancholy that invites us to reflect on our relationship with nature regardless of the season. At the same time, it offers hope, showing us how silence itself can become a symphony, even when no one else is there to hear it.

The repeated sounds of r, s, o, and n further enhance the musical quality of the monoku, creating a melody that readers can almost hear as they move through the poem.


wintergreen that time spent as Christmas alone


Commentary by Jacob D. Salzer:

It is remarkable how certain scents can transport us back in time to a specific memory (or a collection of memories), in a specific place and circumstance.  In this monoku, the word “alone” could have at least two different interpretations: 1) it could mean that the wintergreen scent is only smelled on Christmas Day with family and/or friends, or 2) Christmas Day was spent alone without the company of family and/or friends. This monoku makes me think of elderly people who live in assisted living homes, memory care facilities, or hospice facilities who may not have family nearby. Although the person referenced in this monoku could also be young and alone for many different reasons. Did the person get stranded in a snowstorm?  Did they experience a tragedy or a flight delay? Did they want to spend Christmas with family but their family members passed away? Does this scent bring back memories when the person celebrated Christmas with family but can no longer do this anymore?  

I also think of a beautiful forest. Perhaps the person spent Christmas in the woods for the first time.

I also appreciate how this monoku shows a disruption in our day-to-day lives, where the Christmas holiday is celebrated (hopefully beyond the capitalist mindset of gifts and money exchange), and where actual relationships are made and nourished beyond the idea of money.

Regardless of our interpretations, it is the wintergreen scent that is remembered, viscerally felt, and re-experienced in this monoku. Perhaps this scent brings a mix of emotions all at once (melancholy, joy, nostalgia, etc.). The wintergreen scent is also strong and powerful (and therefore hard to forget), which (in my mind) translates to strong emotional correlations. What other scents do we recognize, and where do they take us? What mental impressions (samskaras) remain in the subconscious mind from this lifetime (and even past lives) that are associated with various scents? This is a powerful monoku to experience and contemplate.


a single gate faces the forest snow-hinting sky


Commentary by Ron Scully:

Why “a single gate” rather than a double, or another, open or closed? Alan Summers shows deftly the doors, read gate, are one way, one off, and we are stopped by the stand of thick forest, rather than forest bathing, we are on the brink of snow bathing. Quite the piquant piece by a master. Several readings would yield richer reactions.


self-penned obituary again the snow


Commentary by Nicholas Klacsanzky:

Though this monoku is extremely concise, there are at least three ways of reading it. My first interpretation was that the poet, or another person in the poet’s life, is writing an obituary for themselves again, and this act is represented in, or connected to, the snow falling outside. The second look made me think that snow itself might be the obituary that is penned, and that the poet feels (or felt) one with snow; the snow could be falling after the obituary has been read, signifying that nature continues without indifference or reverence. Finally, on the third reading, I saw that a self-penned obituary is perhaps being compared to snowflakes, where variety is present at a focused level, but from far away, it might appear the same.

In any way you read this one-line haiku, the kigo, or seasonal reference, of snow is important. It expresses the mood, the cold, and sometimes the beauty of impending death. Snow can also be a metaphor for the blank page, or erasure. It also adds a layer of sound with “s” that matches the beginning with “self.” Perhaps it is representative of the cycle of life and death. In addition, the “o” sounds in “obituary” and “snow” provide an open feeling as if the person in the poem is welcoming death and ready for it.

The cut to form the two parts of the haiku is felt naturally after either “obituary” or “again.” The word “again” acts as a pivot that can give meaning to both the first and second parts of the haiku.

There is a lot of feeling behind the words and phrasing in this monoku. Not a word or image is out of place. An impactful haiku that calls us to pause and introspect about our relationship with nature, death, and identity.

Publications:

“the robin” previously published in whiptail: journal of the single-line poem, ed. Kat Lehmann & Robin Smith (November 2025)

“a single gate” previously published in haikuKATHA 52 (January 2026) Founder/Managing Editor: Kala Ramesh

“self-penned obituary” previously published in whiptail: journal of the single-line poem, ed. Kat Lehmann & Robin Smith (November 2025)

Roodborstje op besneeuwde boomtak (1878–1910) print in high resolution by Theo van Hoytema. Original from The Rijksmuseum. Digitally enhanced by rawpixel.

Haiku and senryu by Lucas Weissenborn, Vaishnavi Pusapati, and Neena Singh

corporate avenue –
even the trees
follow in line


Lucas Weissenborn (Norway)
first published in Failed Haiku, Volume 10, Issue 111, August 2025

Commentary by Jacob D. Salzer:

This haiku/senryu essentially shows the consequences and limitations of corporations and a corporate mindset, which is hierarchical, with the CEO at the top of the pyramid. The CEO’s vision and values trickle down, affecting the entire corporation and all employees. The CEO and senior management usually make far more money than the rest of the employees, sometimes to an extreme extent. The straight line mentality of “business as usual” seems to have inherent limitations and psychological consequences.

The last line reminds me of a conveyor belt: the same thing is done every day, much like a machine, and the employees within certain corporations may start to feel like gears in the machine. As a result, this poem indirectly shows the beauty and importance of creativity, as it avoids the straight-lined mentality. Even the trees in this poem that were planted along the avenue may appear to be artificial, given that they were planted in a perfect straight line. Also, the word “follow” in the last line reminds me of the corporate and military culture to follow orders. In the U.S., the best-paying jobs are often found in corporations. Some corporations have made more significant contributions to humanity, while others feed materialism and a consumer-based society. Non-profit organizations, such as The Nature Conservancy, have tried working with corporations to inform them that environmental stewardship is critical, not only for the planet, but for their own business as well. I don’t know how successful they have been with this endeavor, but I think The Nature Conservancy is worthy of praise and recognition for its sincere efforts.

While some people may regard this poem as a senryu, with the focus on the corporation (and because it was published in Failed Haiku), others may see this as a haiku, capturing part of modern culture. Regardless, this is an important poem that provides a window into the world of corporations and their limitations. May more corporations see the bigger picture to take better care of the Earth, people, employees, and other species.

mist over the pond –
last year’s reeds
still whisper


Vaishnavi Pusapati (India)

Commentary by Nicholas Klacsanzky:

Living in the Pacific Northwest, I’m very familiar with mist. It gives a spiritual, mysterious mood. Sometimes it is a welcome sight, and other times, you wish you could drive more clearly. Anyway, the first line presents a classical haiku scene with a dash to allow readers to pause before considering the second half. Thinking about mist in India, the primary season for it would be winter, specifically from late November to February. Having this haiku placed in winter resonates with the stark imagery in the last two lines.

I enjoy the surprise from the second line to the third. I expected the last line to be something like “still standing.” But “still whisper” resonates much more and leaves white space for the reader to fill in. The reeds could be staying around in a dry form, with the wind making music while moving through them. Also, the reeds could now be in a different form, as all decomposed matter transfers to other beings. The whispering of last year’s reeds could be part of the flora and fauna in the area or beyond.

The pacing of the lines is a little different than usual, with a longer first line and decreasing line lengths from there on. The first line could simply be “misty pond,” but the image of the mist suspended over the pond creates a more substantial effect in comparison to the whispering of last year’s reeds.

It appears to me that the most prominent letter in this haiku is “r.” It gives a weight to the reading and mood of the poem. Also, each word is chosen well and is compact, with only nine words in the haiku. It’s a haiku that effectively captures the mood of the scene and allows our imagination to see how a passed-on being still breathes through new life.

childhood home
I reach for a hand
no longer there


Neena Singh (India)
published in THF Volunteer Haiku Anthology—Kick the Clouds, 2025

Commentary by Hifsa Ashraf:

Childhood homes, family havelis, and ancestral spaces are among my most cherished themes in haiku. I spent my school summer vacations in our family haveli in the rural side of Punjab, where I experienced nature in its purest form. Those moments remain deeply embedded in my memory and continue to be a part of my poetry.

This haiku captures the innocence of a time when relationships were simple, honest, and pure. The opening line, ‘childhood home’, invites the reader to pause and absorb its emotional weight and strength. In the subcontinent, such homes are often vibrant, shared spaces where extended families live together under one roof. They are rich with relationships, daily rituals, and collective memory. Here, the poet evokes not just a physical place, but a nurturing environment that shapes one’s social and emotional values.

The second line, ‘I reach for a hand,’ introduces an intimate and personal gesture. It suggests the presence of a loved one, perhaps a grandparent, an aunt/uncle, or a cousin, etc. The act of reaching conveys both connection and longing. It feels like a vivid recollection of childhood, where true family bonds once existed. At the same time, it hints at absence and an emotional void.

The final line, ‘no longer there’, brings a subtle shift. A gentle sense of yūgen reflects a deep, unspoken awareness of life’s transience. Maybe time has changed the landscape of the home; the people who once lived there are gone, whether through distance or death. What remains is an emptiness that contrasts beautifully with the warmth of memory. Yet, in recalling these moments, the poet brings them to life.

Having no punctuation invites the reader to linger in the space, to experience the gaps where memory fades, and absence quietly endures.

Water Lilies, a 1919 painting by impressionist Claude Monet